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That Door


dr_con
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That Door

 

The madness has come again

too fast

 

That Door needs to be opened

not with pillage

or thermonuclear blast

 

But gently

thievery's lock picks

a lover's hesitating knock

 

Time returns

back Home.

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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Aleksandra

Wonderful expressed poem. Metaphorical and poignant. I love this one. The last lines hits.

 

Excellent poem Dr_con.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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dr_con,

 

This is the shortest form I've read from you. The pace of the poem and the occasional rhymes, I like. The first two verses sound like a storm, but in the next two, it quiets down. The ending is a home run.

 

Nicely done.

 

Lake

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goldenlangur

Hi DC,

 

You suggest so much and let the reader pick their way through the evocative images in your poem to arrive at their own musings.

 

I read it as letting things run their course, not trying to impose an order or system to achieve results.

 

This is brilliant:

 

 

dr_con wrote:

 

thievery's lock picks

a lover's hesitating knock

 

....

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi DC, You hooked me with the opening line... its a grabber

 

The madness has come again

too fast

 

This was exciting and I wanted to see what was going to happen...

 

Then the narrator throws out a word of caution, as if he is attempting to slow himself down... not get too excited about the possibilities of ...

 

That Door needs to be opened

not with pillage

or thermonuclear blast

 

never unsure, warming himself but careful not to jump into the fire just yet

 

But gently

thievery's lock picks

a lover's hesitating knock

 

This had my heart rate up and I was expectant....

 

Then he thinks himself in control, safe...

Time returns

back Home.

 

and the safety disappointed me a little... I wanted to see what was on the other side of the door... You say so much in this short poem... This was an intriguing read.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Thanks all! I was reflecting on short forms- since there has been a recent run (again ;-) of brilliant short works, and thought I'd try a little simplicity to help wash down the spate of detailed pieces I've done;-)

 

Many Thanks!

 

DC

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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I, too, enjoyed this compact work, Dr. Con, especially the opening hook. I like that you tried something different (in your case a short poem), and your willingness to venture into "uncharted waters" is inspiring.:) Mine are all short, however, I don't think I could compose a long one if I tried.:|

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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I really enjoyed this excellent miniature. For me the message is two fold: 1) the door to this maddness in which we find ourselves should be opened with care yet we most often run quickly through it with little thought to the consequences. 2) All things come in their own time. We need not rush carelessly through the door to madness, it will come to us soon enough.

 

Great work, as usual,

 

rg

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Well, Doctor! --- Good to see you on top form again.

 

ded

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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Ded, Badge- Many Thanks for the read!

 

icon_biggrin.png

 

DC

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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dr_con wrote:

 

That Door

 

The madness has come again

too fast

 

That Door needs to be opened

not with pillage

or thermonuclear blast

 

But gently

thievery's lock picks

a lover's hesitating knock

 

Time returns

back Home.

 

Everyone has been complimentary enough. To even say I concur iwould be an injustice you do not deserve.

 

I could argue that "with" (in L4) seems the wrong preposition re "pillage" which is not a means like key, ram, hammer or, as you have, with "blast", nor a designation of reason, like intent, malice, and since the common use is "by ruthless violence (+pillage) or thermo- etc." would be simplercleare.

 

Another oddity, though possibly believable, is to use "a lock (thievery's?) to pick a ... knock". Methinks, you suggest to the reader a "knock" to be as good as any device to "pick a lock", meaning a way "to open a locked door". That last certainly would be a most novel image/metaphor.

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