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Haiku Train - catch it - free tickets


Aleksandra

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With an extra beat

fresh hope and joy abounding

hibernate no more

 

hibernate no more

swim up to the surface-

fresh waters.

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  • Tinker

    194

  • goldenlangur

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  • Lake

    100

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deep scars hide the rest forgiveness waters the shade forget-me-nots thrive

Forget-me-nots thrive where the forgetful forget to forget me not.

to forget me not a drop of lavender oil to pillow your day

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goldenlangur
hibernate no more

swim up to the surface-

fresh waters.

 

 

fresh waters

drip from plum blossoms

spring rain

 

 

 

 

goldenlangurr

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
spring rain

gentle drops of nature's

awakening elixir

 

~~Tink

 

Thank you Tink. All's well and hectic at my end icon_smile.gif

 

awakening elixir

first call of the cuckoo

dawn

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra
dawn

breaks outside my window

while the sun sets outside yours

 

~~Tink

 

 

while the sun sets outside yours

mine starts to rise.

A new dark day.

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur
A new dark day

Like every day

Without you

 

 

 

without you

even the sakura blooms droop

another spring

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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without you

even the sakura blooms droop

another spring

 

 

 

goldenlangur

 

another spring

creeps in unnoticed

a lone primrose

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goldenlangur
a lone primrose

waits for spring's promises

solitude breeds patience

 

~~Tink

 

solitude breeds patience

amongst these pages

wisdom of the sage

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
wisdom of the sage

hangs from the bohdi tree

in heart shaped leaves

 

~~Tink

 

 

Beautiful, Tink!

 

 

in heart shaped leaves

let's write

our dreams

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Tinker wrote:

 

a lone primrose

waits for spring's promises

solitude breeds patience

 

~~Tink

 

This certainly has the right elements for a haiku, but I think my edit below would be even closer.

 

 

solitude breeds patience

waits for spring's promises

a lone primrose

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You are probably right waxwings, but here on the train there is a certain order to things, we take the last line of the previous haiku and use it as the first line of our response... So switching the first line with the last line is not an option. Having to use the last line of the previous poem as your first line creates a different kind of challenge. This thread is an ongoing communication between the members here. The poems are linked and a shared love for writing is passed on.

our dreams
surround this place
in vivid color
           ~~jvg

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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You are probably right waxwings, but here on the train there is a certain order to things, we take the last line of the previous haiku and use it as the first line of our response... So switching the first line with the last line is not an option. Having to use the last line of the previous poem as your first line creates a different kind of challenge. This thread is an ongoing communication between the members here. The poems are linked and a shared love for writing is passed on.

 

golden langur wrote:
.

 

in heart shaped leaves

let's write

our dreams

 

our dreams

surround this place

in vivid color

 

~~Tink

 

My mistake. I had not 'caught' the rule yet. But should we then not write poems that do what haiku are expected to do?

My response to gl's would be

 

our dreams, memories,

blossoms of the rarest kind,

of far places

 

I can but hope these would end on a line that leaves lots and lots room for interpretation.

 

Below, I have grabbed yours extending an idea of Issa's.

 

vivid colors

more so when reflected in

a dragonfly's eye

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goldenlangur

Hi Tink and waxwings

 

I think both of you make valid points here.

 

This haiku train is much more of a fun thing where members collaborate and add their own quirky take on the form. For example, Bloody day, RoNy always gave little footnotes to his haiku posts here, which added something unique to the train.

 

But yes we take the last line of the previous poster's haiku and make a haiku with that. But there's no rule to say, waxwings that you can't tweak the lines a little sometimes to post as perfect a haiku as you want. icon_smile.gif

 

a dragonfly's eye

does it see the scum

on the pond?

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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a dragonfly's eye

does it see the scum

on the pond?

 

 

 

on the pond

ripples of jumping frog

new spring

 

Enjoyable discussion between Tinker and ww

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Hi Tink and waxwings

 

I think both of you make valid points here.

 

This haiku train is much more of a fun thing where members collaborate and add their own quirky take on the form. For example, Bloody day, RoNy always gave little footnotes to his haiku posts here, which added something unique to the train.

 

But yes we take the last line of the previous poster's haiku and make a haiku with that. But there's no rule to say, waxwings that you can't tweak the lines a little sometimes to post as perfect a haiku as you want. icon_smile.gif

 

a dragonfly's eye

does it see the scum

on the pond?

 

 

Thanks for the clarification re 'adjusting' the last line. That is a saving grace.

 

on the pond

each frog rules his universe--

a lily pad

 

I doubt this needs explanation, but are we expected to renga ??

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Ok in case of a tie... I am now making up my own rule, I will use both end lines, with a little modification... by the way I love the frogs in both haiku... I would love to get a renga going but not in this thread, maybe in the Playground....

new spring
a lily pad floats nearby
froggy launch pad
                   ~~jvg

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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goldenlangur
new spring

a lily pad floats nearby

froggy launchpad

 

~~Tink

 

Excellent Tink icon_biggrin.png A renga in the Playground might be fun!

 

 

froggy launchpad

uncurled and warm

late noon

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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new spring

a lily pad floats nearby

froggy launchpad

 

~~Tink

 

Excellent Tink icon_biggrin.png A renga in the Playground might be fun!

 

 

froggy launchpad

uncurled and warm

late noon

 

 

 

goldenlangur

 

But renga asks for haiku, not short philosophical poems like

 

late noontime sun

more green than lily pad

algae crop abundant

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late noontime sun

more green than lily pad

algae crop abundant

 

algae crop abundant

a line of ducks plough on

nature’s gift

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nature's gift

the leaf tip releases

a dew drop

 

 

Beautifully captured moment Rumisong! Really enjoyed it!

a dew drop

carries in it

many a silent mornings.

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many a silent mornings

broken awake

mother chickadee's new nest

 

Sharp observation, nicely diguised. I had to read few times before the full gist hit me, probably because of the odd use of the plural "morings". Another quibble: "mother" not essential for comprehension & adds 2 syllables.

 

chickadee's new nest

yolk and broken shells

rotten cat

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dancing mice

on a lake of ice

cold feet

 

Thanks Tinker to rescue this Haiku train nearly derailed by "dancing mice". icon_redface.gif

 

cold feet

deep in the warm snow

plum blossoms

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Lake said:
Tinker said:
dancing mice
on a lake of ice
cold feet

Thanks Tinker to rescue this Haiku train nearly derailed by "dancing mice". icon_redface.gif

cold feet
deep in the warm snow
plum blossoms

No problem Lake, it looks like you and I are the only ones playing for now... I see the lessons in your haiku, I need the practice.

plum blossoms
in the morning fog
a cricket chirps

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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No problem Lake, it looks like you and I are the only ones playing... I see the lessons in your haiku, I need the practice.

 

plum blossoms

in the morning fog

a cricket chirps

 

Tinker, I forgot to say I loved the cold feet, so lovely.

For the lesson, the technique is switched from phrase, then fragment to fragment then phrase. I'm not quite used to it yet.

My two juxtaposed images are not strong said myron, but enough to pass icon_redface.gif So haiku on...

 

a cricket chirps

in the garden -

blue moon

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Lake said:
Tinker said:
No problem Lake, it looks like you and I are the only ones playing... I see the lessons in your haiku, I need the practice.

plum blossoms
in the morning fog
a cricket chirps

Tinker, I forgot to say I loved the cold feet, so lovely.
For the lesson, the technique is switched from phrase, then fragment to fragment then phrase. I'm not quite used to it yet.My two juxtaposed images are not strong said myron, but enough to pass icon_redface.gif So haiku on...

a cricket chirps
in the garden -
blue moon

LOL Lake, Yours look fine to me. Myron had me throw out everything I thought I knew and start over. He has a fit over my story telling.. no-no-no

blue moon
shines on a mirror lake
an old dog bays

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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blue moon

shines on a mirror lake

an old dog bays

 

an old dog bays

at an eclipse of the sun -

discolored petals

 

 

I still have hard time to get that Aha, though I could manage to find two images. icon_rolleyes.gif

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  • 2 weeks later...
Larsen M. Callirhoe

discolored petals

darkness comes as the sun sets

the flower fades

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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discolored petals

darkness comes as the sun sets

the flower fades

 

the flower fades

fungus shoots on the tree stump

after the rain

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Lake said:
Larsen M. Callirhoe said:
discolored petals
darkness comes as the sun sets
the flower fades

the flower fades
fungus shoots on the tree stump
after the rain

after the rain
on the forest floor
sparrows hop
                 ~~jvg

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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  • 4 weeks later...
goldenlangur
cold god

on icy mountain top

Lillies on the hill.

 

Lilies on the hill

fragrant and white

in the mist

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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cold god

on icy mountain top

Lillies on the hill.

 

Lilies on the hill

fragrant and white

in the mist

 

 

in the mist

perches on my window

a bird

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goldenlangur
in the mist

perches on my window

a bird

 

a bird

it's wings light up

dusk

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

dusk arrives

creatures come alive

the sun rests

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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goldenlangur
dusk arrives

creatures come alive

the sun rests

 

the sun rests

on the rim of the sea

last light

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
the silent room

smells of coffee and cigar

thunderstorm's over

 

thunderstorm's over

you have left

memories

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
memories

taped inside my scrapbook

framed photo of you

 

 

framed photo of you

I wonder if your hair is shorter

now

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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