incantation Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 Waterfall a watchtower for summer, lighthouse for winter. Light between Corsican pines, wind between Leaves, springs breath between dreams. Summers powers fade, do magicians Dream about magic. Leaves Degrade. Falling water a tongue Talking, offering reassurance about Returning themes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry A Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 Synchronicity. Rather stunning this poem of yours..... "wind between Leaves ...springs breath between dreams".............. How do you wrap imagery so effortlessly and so concentrated?! I will learn this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 Hi Barry, everything works for me (so fresh and alive!) until the final two or three lines. The multiple -ing words dash the clean motion of the piece. Moreover, for this reader, the poem loses further energy by ending on an abstraction after all the vivid specifics. My Two, - David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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