Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus
  • Announcements

    • tonyv

      Registration -- to join PMO ***UPDATED INSTRUCTIONS***   03/14/2017

      Automatic registration has been disabled. If you would like to join the Poetry Magnum Opus online community, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of this page and follow these instructions: 1. Check your email (including your spam folder) in a timely fashion for a reply. 2. After you receive a reply, use the "Sign Up" link at the top right corner of the page to create your account. Do this fast. I've lost my patience with people who use the "Contact Us" link to express interest in joining and then don't bother to check their email for a reply and don't bother to join after registration has been enabled. The queue fills up fast with spammers, and I have to spend my time sifting through the rubbish to delete them. The window of opportunity for joining will be short. I will not have my time wasted. If you don't check your email and you don't bother registering promptly, you will find that registration has been disabled and your future requests to join may go ignored. /s/ Tony ___________________ [Registration will only be enabled for a short while from the time your message is received, so please check your email for a reply and register within 12 hours of using the "Contact Us" link. (Be sure to check your spam folder if you don't see a reply to your message.)]
    • tonyv

      IMPORTANT: re Logging In to PMO ***Attention Members***   03/15/2017

      For security purposes, please use your email address when logging in to the site. This will prevent your account from being locked when malicious users try to log in to your account using your publicly visible display name. If you are unable to log in, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of the page.
    • tonyv

      Blogs   05/01/2017

      Blogs are now accessible to Guests. Guests may read and reply to blog entries. We'll see how this works out. If Guest participation becomes troublesome, I'll disable Guest access. Members are encouraged to make use of the PMO Members' Promotional Blog to promote their published works. Simply add your latest entry to the blog. Include relevant information (your name or screen name, poem title, periodical name, hyperlink to the site where published, etc). If you have a lot of them and feel you need your own blog, let me know, and I will try to accommodate you. Members are encouraged to continue also posting their promotional topics in the Promotions forum on the board itself which is better suited for archiving promotions.
Terry L shuff

silk worm

Recommended Posts

                                                                   bench in yard

                                                       small green worm decends

                                                             silk thread gleams


3/5/3       new form Joel mentioned to me

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Tink, Joel told me about the 3/5/3 form. I think this may best form yet for translating  Basho's original. i'am not sure I understand Joels overlapping term. some websites say Haiku should have a juxtaposition for the 3rd line.    To me that means contrast, Joels seems like a continuation of the action. rather then a result, of line 2.  some of Basho's translators use ing  quite frequently.      Iwould like to understand which is right.        sincerelyi would  

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Terry, haiku can be written in 1 line, 2 lines or 3 lines as long as the total syllable count is 17 syllables or less. (I've even seen 4 lines)  O course the most common Western haiku is 5/7/5.  But it isn't the line count that is important.  It is the image of the moment and the human condition the image brings to mind. It is hard to emulate Basho unless you speak and write Japanese. His haiku differ with the translator.

The form does require 3 units or parts but the units do not necessarily have to be separated by line.

  1. concrete image in the moment
  2. expand image or parallel the image.
  3. juxtaposed image revealing human condition, the Ah ha moment.

    birth and death                                                            
    of a moment

    Here are some really nice examples all found published in Carving Darkness, The Red Moon Anthology of English Language Haiku

    a favorite of mine by one of our inactive members Lucy Lu

    prom day~~
    on my daughter's waist 
    a boy's hand

    or  Bouwe Brouwer of the Netherlands 

    winter night
    the snow slowly takes over 
    the conversation

    or Carmi Soifer  USA

    the shell's story inside the inside

    or Helga Stanla of Switzerland

    boundary stones 
    on the old battlefield
    melting snow                                   (gerund used and it is totally appropriate, 17 syllables aren't even used)

Modern or contemporary Western haiku seem to test the boundaries but as long as you keep the 3 images in mind and stay on or under the total syllable count you've got haiku.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Tink,    i'am getting a better understanding of Haiku.     I'll read the book.   My Ah ha   moments many times  are different ,than others.     many people have said to me" what made you think of that" ?     i'am very seldom on the same wave lingth with others.    I'ts  no big deal tho.     Thanks again Tink .

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the perspective, Terry.  Poetry is the medium for tuning wavelengths!

- Dave

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nicely done. You have the "cut" between lines 1 and 2 (it can be between 2 and 3, of course). Nice "zoom lens" effect from the wide shot of the bench to the minutia of silkworm and filament.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in

Sign In Now


Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.