badger11 Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Amber embers tremble awake to auburn flame: autumn has come to the bluebell wood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 This is neat badge encapsulating a lot in the couplet. Alliteration abounds in the brevity, neatly done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Agree with Frank, Badge. Precise! Forest fires always get me down. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 7, 2011 Author Share Posted May 7, 2011 Thank you Tony and Frank. Pleased it worked. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) Well presented, thoughtful and topical. The downside of early spring dry weather has already ravaged UK beauty spots this week.. Edited May 8, 2011 by Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 Well presented, thoughtful and topical. The downside of early spring dry weather has already ravaged UK beauty spots this week.. thank you Benjamin. Just the 'spots' I was thinking of... cheers badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Hi Badge, I love the sonics of this piece. The images dazzle, so much in so small a poem. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) I completely missed the fire aspect commenting badge, thought it was a metaphorical burning imagery for woodland. My ignorance of things countrty, mine is an urban jungle. Now I've got it, this packs more punch in the poem's 2 lines, bravo, kudos plus. Frank Edited May 13, 2011 by Frank E Gibbard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 Pleased you enjoyed the sonics Tink. I visited an arboretum recently and some of the trees reminded me of your writings - of course there are trees that benefit from a forest fire! Thanks again Frank you urban degenerate! Remember your monkey origins! badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 Amber embers tremble awake to auburn flame:autumn has come to the bluebell wood. Hello Badger I found myself tripping, as in tongue tie, over the words "Amber embers tremble", The second syllable of Amber, "ber" The second syllable of ember, "ber", Autumn embers tremble sound good, but as "Autumn" is in the last line, it cannot be repeated. It's beautiful to read, expecially the last line... Best wishes Rea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I found myself tripping, as in tongue tie, over the words "Amber embers tremble", The second syllable of Amber, "ber" The second syllable of ember, "ber", Autumn embers tremble sound good, but as "Autumn" is in the last line, it cannot be repeated. I didn't stumble, but might "amber" easily be changed to "autumn" if "autumn" in the second line is changed to "fall"? Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Thank you Rea and Tony. Of course, the close placing of such sound tricks can trip the tongue and appear less than subtle. I appreciate the suggestions, though 'fall' is an American word and not natural to me. There was an intention of transition of colour from amber to auburn to reflect the growing intensity of heat. One to ponder on! cheers badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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