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goldenlangur

new snow

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goldenlangur

sound of feet

on the new snow

just on my own

tracing the old path

this anniversary

 

 

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

what anniversary GL? inquiring minds want to know lol.

 

nice tanka i think. im not good with the syllable count.

 

 

yes it is snowing outside lightly right now.

 

have a nice day my friend.

 

vic


Larsen M. Callirhoe

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dr_con

Well done Golden! You are converting me icon_eek.gif to a form- The concise nature of the communication continues to astound me in your skilled hands.

 

Many Thanks!

 

DC


Join the Voodoo rEvolution. Classes forming now: http://www.integralvoodoo.org/

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Lake

Hi Golden,

 

The mood in your poem is well captured. The feeling of isolation, detachment, poignancy is very strong. "just on my own" links the first part and second part well.

 

Thanks for the read.

 

Lake

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JoelJosol

Nice projection of loneliness with the snow.


"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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goldenlangur

Hi vic, DC, Lake and JoelJosol,

 

 

I'm delighted by your warm, encouraging review of this tanka.

 

 

vic - I was hoping that you as a reader would interpret the anniversary on a personal note. icon_smile.gif Not to worry about the syllable count rule, I'm hopeless with it.

 

DC - so glad that the compactness of the tanka form appeals to you. How generous your commendation.

 

Lake - It's wonderful that you honed into the pivot line. Must admit that it does not always work in my tanka attempts.

 

 

JoelJosol - the expanse of a snow covered landscape certainly enhances how small one is.

 

 

 

A big thank you.

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

Wonderful poem Goldenlangur. Clear imagery but meaningful much more than just an imagery. The last two lines gives a space to the reader. The third line I can't connect very well and feel where is belong to, the clear wonderful imagery in the first lines or in the last two :).

 

I loved this tanka.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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tonyv

Golden, from the quiet reflection -- just on my own -- I conclude that the moment is one of sadness, perhaps the anniversary of a loved one's passing. Tracing the old path could mean that the path was one which the narrator followed with another, or, that numerous years have passed ... or both.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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goldenlangur

Hello Aleksandra,

 

 

Thank you for your considered response to this tanka. You could be right that the third line does pivot well here. It should connect to both halves of the tanka.

 

I'm so grateful that the last lines opened up the piece for you.

 

 

 

Many thanks for reading this and posting your thoughts.

 

 

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

Your reading of possible scenarios in this piece is gratifying. That is what a tanka should do - give the reader the space to read possible interpretations. I appreciate that the line just on my own, conveys to you the sense of absence of some one dear.

 

 

Thank you for a sensitive reading.

 

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Frank E Gibbard

I got an image evoked by this Golden of the carol's gatherer of winter fuel, it's a unique perspective, a bit weird I grant. But it summoned forth a picture of a wilderness dotted by a distant trudging figure. Has one thining, which is the name of the game. Sorry I comment little then make no sort of sense. Frank

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Bloodyday

for any kind of anniversary, i would like to join!

lot's of eats and chicks, i would toss my coin!

 

but your lines truly speak like the sound of feet

 

343271.gif

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