tonyv Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Emma, another round of cloud to ground the world has turned. I'm moonshine, and she's wine. She can keep the cruises. Tourist traps! When she's not my mimosa every morning we don't even make it through a night. It's day, again, at last. I'm keeping Asia. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Wow Tony~ This is a different course for you and I really love it. It gets better and better with each read. One of the best storm poems I think I've ever read. I haven't heard of an Emma, am I missing something? Erin is the E name for 2019. And right now it is Imelda that is making the news. But still I believe I'm reading this right, Emma is a storm. Love "She can keep the cruises. Tourist traps!" double entendre. So smart and very cool. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 22, 2019 Author Share Posted September 22, 2019 Thank you, Judi. 😊 3 minutes ago, Tinker said: One of the best storm poems I think I've ever read. I haven't heard of an Emma, am I missing something? Erin is the E name for 2019. And right now it is Imelda that is making the news. But still I believe I'm reading this right, Emma is a storm. Emma is just a bartender. I hadn't even considered a hurricane or storm Emma -- how cool! 😀I love how each reader brings something of his own to a poem. With appreciation, Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Come on! No way bartender. You are kidding right? cloud to ground / world turned / she can have the cruise ships / tourist trap / its day again / I'm keeping Asia.... This has to be a storm poem. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 22, 2019 Author Share Posted September 22, 2019 Just now, Tinker said: Come on! No way bartender. You are kidding right? cloud to ground / world turned / she can have the cruise ships / tourist trap / its day again / I'm keeping Asia.... This has to be a storm poem. ~~Tink She does wear a corset ... Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 This is too good to be just about a bartender. Well I guess Li Po would agree with you, writing about a pot of wine can endure forever. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 22, 2019 Author Share Posted September 22, 2019 Just now, Tinker said: This is too good to be just about a bartender. Well I guess Li Po would agree with you, writing about a pot of wine can endure forever. ~~Judi Well, it's not really about the bartender, it's more talking to the bartender. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Enjoyed Tony, my kind of poem. I feel that talking to the bartender would be a great title. best Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 25, 2019 Author Share Posted September 25, 2019 Hi Phil, 5 hours ago, badger11 said: ... my kind of poem ... Is this really true??? If yes, I'm pleased ... 😊 5 hours ago, badger11 said: I feel that talking to the bartender would be a great title. I was considering other titles and leaning toward "Dry Lightning" or "Heat Lightning." Perhaps some combination like "Dry Lightning: a Conversation with the Bartender" would work. Will think about this. [Summer Lightning / Dry Lightning / Heat Lightning] Thank you, Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 26, 2019 Author Share Posted September 26, 2019 Temp. change in title. Still wavering on this one. Might go with "Heat Lightning" -- haven't decided yet. It's the weather phenomenon I want to highlight, and I don't want to muddy the waters with a seasonal reference. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 On 9/24/2019 at 5:32 PM, tonyv said: Hi Phil, Is this really true??? If yes, I'm pleased ... 😊 I was considering other titles and leaning toward "Dry Lightning" or "Heat Lightning." Perhaps some combination like "Dry Lightning: a Conversation with the Bartender" would work. Will think about this. [Summer Lightning / Dry Lightning / Heat Lightning] Thank you, Tony Tony, count me among the votes for this title. Elucidates just enough for the reader to follow your narrative without giving away all the lightning flashes. Nice! - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 1, 2019 Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 19 hours ago, David W. Parsley said: Tony, count me among the votes for this title. Elucidates just enough for the reader to follow your narrative without giving away all the lightning flashes. Thank you, Dave. Sometimes people point out that it's a flaw when readers have to do too much work to make sense of a poem, and perhaps they're right about that, but I didn't think that was the case with this poem. Thanks for confirming it. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 On 10/1/2019 at 3:14 PM, tonyv said: Sometimes people point out that it's a flaw when readers have to do too much work to make sense of a poem I completely read a different poem than what you wrote and that is OK. It shows depth and it is proof that the reader brings their own baggage to the poem. After all of this commentary I see the bartender but I still see my storm and this change of title didn’t lead me in a different direction. And i still love the poem. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted November 29, 2019 Author Share Posted November 29, 2019 18 minutes ago, Tinker said: I completely read a different poem than what you wrote and that is OK. It shows depth and it is proof that the reader brings their own baggage to the poem. After all of this commentary I see the bartender but I still see my storm and this change of title didn’t lead me in a different direction. And i still love the poem. ~~Judi Thank you, Judi, for adding this. My favorite type of poetry is lyrical, and the type where the writer sets the mood, doesn't just lead me around with the straightforward and obvious, and lets me bring something to it, lets me use my imagination. Like THIS one by Levertov and THIS one by Wright. In fact, if I had to pick just one favorite poem, it would be Wright's. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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