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JoelJosol

Cold Bed

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JoelJosol

Despite the promise to make me comfy in this cold bed,
the first time I laid down in it I asked 
please put me into deep sleep, so deep even if death stole me 
from lawyers who could not bring me back,
only my body would convulse
against the error of a machine mis-configured, 
or against a surgeon who mis-heard or mis-read 
or whatever else he missed, 
but not my wakeful thoughts strapped in it- 
to record the tensed voices,
to actively compute the pain, 
to calculate how many minutes more are left,  
to feel the dread of the last breath
until it is gone.

I prefer to go into a deep sleep in this cold bed. 
I already have a blanket.
Just pull it up to my head when done.
 


"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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dcmarti1

This is not resignation, this is determination. Forceful piece!

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David W. Parsley

A poetic Living Will addressed to the universe.  I like what both dc and doc say here, the focused balance between acceptance and a calm insistence on setting terms.  Parallels thoughts that I have been walking through myself lately.

Nicely done, Joel.

 - Dave

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JoelJosol

Thank you guys for the read.

I have been through several rides on that cold bed. I reflected on the instances where I am awake there and heard everything, and the instances that I dozed off. I reflected on the thought if I want to hear them exclaim an error has been made, a mis-procedure,  the staff debating, or the surgeon scolding another, something bad happening that I cannot see but hear.  Of course, it was all fictional. But, I wanted to walk the reader into that journey with me.

You guys captured the reflection and the posture.   Thanks.


"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Terry L shuff

I had quite an experience 5 years ago. the hospital staff was trying to get me in an MRI machine but the pain of my collapsed 3 vertebra  was horrendous.  After 3 doses of morphine through intervenes injections. I died literally.  When they brought me back there was nothing to remember about being dead,just a deep sleep. Coming back was difficult,and time was slowed considerably.  But no fear or out of body experience.

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