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8 posts in this topic

The Will

 

I read of love, undying love,

what does that mean, undying love?

A rose withers, a blossom falls,

--------------- what lives will die.

Love is a will, a rush, a sigh,

a touch, a cry, a hope, a rock.

I read of love, undying love,

--------------- what lives will die.

Blush of new love we know must fade

replaced in time with trust and grace.

In rest, I will my love remain.

-------------- What lives will die.

---------------------- --Judi Van Gorder

 

A Baccresiezé

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Hi Tink.

A pensive and enjoyable poem. It has an aura of traditional song about it where constancy was valued greatly. Especially enjoyed the last stanza. Benjamin

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The Will

 

I read of love, undying love,

what does that mean, undying love?

A rose withers, a blossom falls,

--------------- what lives will die.

Love is a will, a rush, a sigh,

a touch, a cry, a hope, a rock.

I read of love, undying love,

--------------- what lives will die.

Blush of new love we know must fade

replaced in time with trust and grace.

In rest, I will my love remain.

-------------- What lives will die.

---------------------- --Judi Van Gorder

 

A Baccresiezé

 

Pleasing to read Tink with its musicality, the themes familiar and timeless, though the use of 'The Will' was an unusual metaphysical touch as a bequest of love.

 

Love is a will, a rush, a sigh,

a touch, a cry, a hope, a rock.

 

The placement of 'rock' seemed to crystallise the transience of the 'moment'.

 

enjoyed

 

badge

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Very nice, Tinker! When I went to the reference section and saw that this was a syllabic invented form, I wasn't sure I would like it. Well, as it turns out, I don't. I love it. :) I enjoyed the carefully placed repetition in yet another well-executed "example" poem.

 

Tony

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Hi Benjamin, Thanks for reading this. I thought the same thing, the form seems to create a traditional lyrics like sound. I appreciate your commenting.

 

 

Hi Badger, Your thoughtful reading is always appreciated. "Love is a will." was said to me by a priest a long time ago when he was preping me for marriage in the church. That has always stayed with me and though I didn't believe him then. (what could a priest know of love between a man and a woman?), I found out he was right. There have been moments that sheer willing of love got us through. We will be married 48 years next anniversary.

 

 

Thank you Tony, A lot of the form examples I never post up here in Members Poetry because they are strictly written to demonstrate a structure. But some have more. When the form and content compliment each other, I do post up here and I am glad you liked it.

 

~~Tink

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Hi, Tinker. I loved the repetition. It adds music to your poem. I like the structure and the statements. I enjoyed the poem a lot.

 

Aleksandra

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Thank you Aleks, I appreciate encouragement and kind words. ~~Tink

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Beautiful and so sadly true. Except, that love might not die as long as those involved still live. Your word choices were beautiful and made this piece flow from one poignant phrase to another. Thanks for sharing this one.

 

Tammi

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