Lake Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 1 gray skies croaking ravens darken the backyard 2 winter sun brighter than summer spring in icicle drops 3 piercing wind on my window sills discolored petals 4 in the stillness winding up the hill unknown footprints 5 after the girl left a feeling of loss creeps in 6 cold night, in the humming of the furnace garage doors screech 7 in the dark computer screen blinks with twinkling stars 8 winter morning the car’s headlight - the first light of daybreak 9 missing the stop sign missing the stop police car’s behind 10 record low- this cold even in my bosom . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Lake, It's great to see you back! What great moments you've captured in your haiku/senryu garland! From a hint of foreboding in the first haiku to the wonderfully contemporary tone in 6, 7, 8 and 9. Particularly love the "computer"/ "stars" link. 3, 4 and 5 convey a sense of wistfulness and longing. The "discolored petals" and "unknown footprints" are inspired. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Lake I missed your voice. These poems are so natural. I love it the 2,3,4 then 6,7,8,9,10 goes together as well. Much enjoyed Thank you for sharing Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 So many images brought to mind Lake: wintery and foreboding. I think I'll have to come back and dip in again. There is so much resonance in the images. all the best badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Lake, I love this series of haiku. At first read, #4 and#8 are my favorites, they carry an element of surprise. All together the series paints a winter picture that chilled my bones but warmed my heart. I hope you went to traffic school. You don't want that ticket on your record. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summayya Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Wonderful Lake. This brought so many images to mind. Really enjoyed this series. Really missed your beautiful poetry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I love the desolation of winter, and I think you harness it very well in this poem. My favorite parts: Lake wrote: 5 after the girl left a feeling of loss creeps in 6 cold night, in the humming of the furnace garage doors screech 7 in the dark computer screen blinks with twinkling stars 10 record low- this cold even in my bosom. A most enjoyable read. Welcome home, Lake! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I'm still working hard to improve writing this type of poem. It is interesting to see different people have different picks. Tinker, I didn't go to driver's school, I learned driving by myself. Scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 LOL, I was teasing you. Sorry I didn't make myself clear, I referred to traffic school because one of your haiku described getting a traffic violation. If you just pay the find for the violation, it stays on your record for 3 years and raises the insurance rates. If you go to traffic school usually an option of the court, you can have the ticket expunged from your record and your insurance rates don't go up. siren whoop whoops, motor cop flashes lights, "Sorry Officer" ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Tinker, Your haiku is so funny and humorous, it made me laugh - a bitter laugh. Yes, I did go to the county office. It ended up I still needed to pay but the ticket won't show up on my record if I don't have any other traffic violation within one year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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