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Poetry Magnum Opus

wintersong


Lake
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1

gray skies

croaking ravens

darken the backyard

 

2

winter sun

brighter than summer

spring in icicle drops

 

3

piercing wind

on my window sills

discolored petals

 

4

in the stillness

winding up the hill

unknown footprints

 

5

after the girl left

a feeling of loss

creeps in

 

6

cold night, in the

humming of the furnace

garage doors screech

 

7

in the dark

computer screen blinks

with twinkling stars

 

8

winter morning

the car’s headlight -

the first light of daybreak

 

9

missing the stop sign

missing the stop

police car’s behind

 

10

record low-

this cold

even in my bosom

 

.

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goldenlangur

Hi Lake,

 

It's great to see you back! What great moments you've captured in your haiku/senryu garland!

 

 

From a hint of foreboding in the first haiku to the wonderfully contemporary tone in 6, 7, 8 and 9. Particularly love the "computer"/ "stars" link.

 

3, 4 and 5 convey a sense of wistfulness and longing. The "discolored petals" and "unknown footprints" are inspired.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

Lake I missed your voice. These poems are so natural. I love it the 2,3,4

then 6,7,8,9,10 goes together as well.

 

Much enjoyed

 

Thank you for sharing

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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So many images brought to mind Lake: wintery and foreboding. I think I'll have to come back and dip in again. There is so much resonance in the images.

 

all the best

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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Hi Lake, I love this series of haiku. At first read, #4 and#8 are my favorites, they carry an element of surprise. All together the series paints a winter picture that chilled my bones but warmed my heart.

 

I hope you went to traffic school. You don't want that ticket on your record. icon_arrow.gif

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Wonderful Lake. This brought so many images to mind. Really enjoyed this series.

 

Really missed your beautiful poetry!

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I love the desolation of winter, and I think you harness it very well in this poem. My favorite parts:

Lake wrote:

5

after the girl left

a feeling of loss

creeps in

 

6

cold night, in the

humming of the furnace

garage doors screech

 

7

in the dark

computer screen blinks

with twinkling stars

 

10

record low-

this cold

even in my bosom.

A most enjoyable read. Welcome home, Lake!

 

Tony icon_biggrin.png

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I'm still working hard to improve writing this type of poem. It is interesting to see different people have different picks.

 

Tinker, I didn't go to driver's school, I learned driving by myself. Scary.

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LOL, I was teasing you. Sorry I didn't make myself clear, I referred to traffic school because one of your haiku described getting a traffic violation. If you just pay the find for the violation, it stays on your record for 3 years and raises the insurance rates. If you go to traffic school usually an option of the court, you can have the ticket expunged from your record and your insurance rates don't go up.

 

siren whoop whoops,

motor cop flashes lights,

"Sorry Officer"

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Hi Tinker,

 

Your haiku is so funny and humorous, it made me laugh - a bitter laugh.

 

Yes, I did go to the county office. It ended up I still needed to pay but the ticket won't show up on my record if I don't have any other traffic violation within one year.

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