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Poetry Magnum Opus

lots of laughter

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

THE SENILITY PRAYER Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked

anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the

difference. Now that I'm "older" (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've





1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded . . .

5. If all is not lost, where is it?

6. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

7. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the


8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

9. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

10. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go

somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

An extremely rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a

party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.


He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He

held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.


Leroy was having a great time. He was drinking, dancing, eating

shrimp, oysters and BBQ, and flirting with all the married women.


At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-

eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone

who has the nerve to jump in.'


The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud

splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!


Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing

it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and

choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the

air like some kind of Judo Instructor.


The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Leroy was

screaming, the gator was hissing, and both were raising hell.


Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top

like a dime store goldfish.


Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just

staring at him in disbelief.


Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a

million dollars.'


'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy.


His host said, 'Man, you won the bet. How about half a million

bucks then?'


'No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.


The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing.

How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options in my company?'


Again Leroy said no.


Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'


Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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