Missing such a cloudy day!

[Bloodyday]

It was an invitation to touch

The deepest point of her feelings

Another invitation was a hoax

To enjoy such a rain.

 

 

I touched the raindrops instead

Till then my life was cursed to lead.

 

I made my own journey so uneven

Sliding like drunken king

On the slope of barren mountain.

 

Now I am waiting 

For my doom and rebirth 

For redemption

To suffer my own aftermath

But my time doesn’t end

Silence reigns in the wind

Whispering some old melodies

Someday I won’t miss my fallacy 

To vibrate

Only for the groaning of dismantle ocean

Or to halt Lucifer’s scream.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

enjoyed the read. some crisp details that i liked.

 

cheers

victor

[goldenlangur]

Hi RoNy,

 

You have some great details which startle and hold the reader's attention:

 

 

 

to halt Lucifer’s scream.

 

 

It was an invitation to touch

The deepest point of her feelings

 

This is also a good opening to the poem.

 

 

Full of yearning and melancholy reflections.

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur

[tonyv]

As is usually the case, your verse delights with its fresh imagery and shining expressions. I think my favorite parts have to be:

 

I made my own journey so uneven

Sliding like drunken king

On the slope of barren mountain.

and:

 

Someday I won’t miss my fallacy 

To vibrate

Only for the groaning of dismantle ocean ...

Keep 'em coming even on a cloudy day, Rony!

 

Tony :icon_sunny:

[Aleksandra]

Hello Rony. I can tell that I notice some improvements in your writing. I liked this poem a lot. The expression of the pain and love makes one good lyrical composition.

You did that nicelly.

 

Well done. Glad to read you again.

 

Aleksandra