douglas Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 (edited) the rain is falling from a sky i ponder and it is falling upon my pondering head cold and wet and visceral i stand in these strange streets and i wonder and think before ordering myself another drink all is wet and i've placed a bet upon my life and upon my soul the questions that enter my tired head and force me to gain some control control over my destiny and my life that ever evasive thing the certainty and wholeheartedness one wishes to achieve that gift that'll make the soul sing and as i walk through the alleyways where the people flow out and as i enter the circles where there is traffic all about i realise something and it's not just about me it's about our plight as contemporary society... Edited October 24, 2011 by douglas Quote To receive love, you have to give it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Douglas, my dear friend :). How nice to see you here again :). I hope you set your life in London and that you are happy there. I like this Rain poem. It is somehow mixed with rime and some repetition of the words, you did that by intent or?! However, the poem is very nice with some melancholy inside. I hope you are not with same feeling in yourself as the feeling in your poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Well, well don Douglas- The rhyme plays into the rumination, the song, the ordering of another drink. It is playful and yet conveys a sense of truth @ once.Nice work Douglas! I would skip the final ellipses, grounding the point home as it were;-) None the less excellent work! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Yes, Douglas, although the speaker is somehow in touch with himself -- he's making a conscious effort to gain some control -- he's nevertheless acutely aware of a sense of detachment present in his cosmopolitan environs. City life can be exciting, but it can also be lonely. I know you will find where the action is. :party on: And I hope you find a little :icon_sunny: in the midst of all the rain. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 So much lonliness, it makes the heart ache; makes one want to reach across the abyss and hug the writer; offer assurance that he is loved. It is all well and good to recognize that society is indeed lonely both colectively and individually, but that is little comfort for the lonely heart. Your work herein paints a portrait in shades of gray with careful and well placed strokes. I pray that this is only a moment in the life. rg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Hi douglas, The rain seems to magnify the narrator's sense of alienation and loneliness. You capture so well the acuteness of the narrator's awareness of his surroundings which underline his own feelings of being out of place and lost. I particularly like how you then link this to the wider, more universal: i realise somethingand it's not just about me it's about our plight as contemporary society... Pensive and moving. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douglas Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 hello everyone. it is so nice to be on the new site and to see you all here. thank you ALL very much for your lovely words, impressions and comments. london has been very challenging on many levels. but i am taking all the lessons on the chin and learning much about myself and life. i have decided, after a year of globe trotting to move back to cape town, south africa at the end of oct. hopefully more poetry will flow through me again soon. my creativity has been dormant for a few months and this was my first poem in ages. i am happy that it moved and touched you all - that gives me joy. douglas Quote To receive love, you have to give it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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