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Unbearable Lightness


goldenlangur
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goldenlangur

Unbearable Lightness

 

 

Morning glory buds

unfurl in the first rays

unlike you

these will be here

till dusk.

 

Even the mist has shapes

unlike your unbearable lightness -

no voice,

no shadow,

no footsteps.

 

Never again

will the phone summon me

to your bedside

what unbearable lightness of certainty!

Edited by goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Never again

will the phone summon me

to your bedside

what unbearable lightness of certainty!

 

A poem indeed worth the title= Which I believe Kundera borrowed Nietzsche so for a work of this reverse-gravity ( a philosophic physic pun ;-) I find it appropriate that you use it.

 

The undoing of the self in this piece is remarkable, with the sad and wistful embodied end set against the disembodied natural world of the beginning.

 

Well, well done!

 

DC

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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The anguish delivered by this piece, especially in the first and third verses, can only be described as unbearable. The only thing "heavy" is the heart -- day after day, month after month, life after life. I hope yours will find some comfort soon.

 

Tony

 

PS -- love the form, btw.

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Viking Poet (U.K.)

Hi goldenlangur,

A beautiful yet, haunting piece of writing.

Realy good!

 

Best regards

 

Viking Poet (U.K.)

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Anyone who has experienced unrecoverable loss will understand and weep at these words. Only a soul who has felt this could have captured it so profoundly. Emptiness that fills a room; silence that fills the ears.

 

Incredible!

 

rg

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

hi goldenlangur. what a treasure to read. i like rhymeguy's remarks. i have a light void where light covers it up because of this poem.

 

excellent poem. my favorite of yours so far. it flowed and had rythm and it was free verse my type of poem. tho you did have a few rhymes but nothing was forced. a very enjoyable easy read.

 

thanks

victor

Edited by Larsen M. Callirhoe

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Hi gl, Your poem begins brightly with the morning glory then steps back and makes a negative comparison which surprised me. The next stanza lists a series of negatives so that when the 3rd stanza comes it is almost a relief to read the same words in different sequence. There is melancholy in this piece but I felt that in the end there was release. Nice writing.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Wonderful poem GL. Good choice with using the "Unbearable Lightness" and goes together with your poem in perfect way. The end gives a lot of sense and talks a lot.

 

Gl I enjoyed this poem. The sadness captured me here.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur

Thank you everyone for reading this and posting your thoughts.

 

Work is hectic. I will return to read and review and also reply in detail to all your thoughtful comments.

 

 

With appreciation.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
A poem indeed worth the title= Which I believe Kundera borrowed Nietzsche so for a work of this reverse-gravity ( a philosophic physic pun ;-) I find it appropriate that you use it.

 

Yes indeed DC both Heidegger and Nietzsche influenced Kundera's vision of the individual's destiny and choice.

 

I like how you've read the disembodiment of both spirit and the natural world.

 

Thank you for a gratifying read and response.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
The anguish delivered by this piece, especially in the first and third verses, can only be described as unbearable. I hope yours will find some comfort soon.

 

Tony

 

PS -- love the form, btw.

 

 

I'm amazed how time after time you reviews hone into the heart of a piece and how perceptively you express that tuning in. I'm particularly taken with this:

 

The only thing "heavy" is the heart -- day after day, month after month, life after life.

 

Thank you so much Tony both for a fine review and your kind wishes.

 

Re the form - I don't think it is anything particular other than my efforts to disguise a tanka and a few haiku in this ;)

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Lovely to meet you Viking Poet :)

 

I'm pleased that this touched you.

 

 

Thank you.

 

Best Wishes.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hi rg,

 

What can I say to your beautiful response? It's poetical and so generous.

 

This is superb:

 

Only a soul who has felt this could have captured it so profoundly. Emptiness that fills a room; silence that fills the ears.

 

rg

 

Thank you so much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Thank you victor.

 

 

I'm delighted that you read this as a favorite of my efforts.

 

 

You're right - I don't usually write much outside tanka, haiku and a haibun or two. So I'm pleased that you think this works.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hi Tink,

 

You're right that the delicate Morning Glory has a negative link here - its demise at the end of the day suggests transience.

 

The negatives in the next stanza too are linked to this sense of the fleetingness of life and relationships.

 

I suppose in the end there is release if a unwanted one.

 

 

Thank you for reading this and posting your thoughts.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

So glad Alexander that this piece talks to you and that you sense the sadness.

 

Thank you so much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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