goldenlangur Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 (edited) Unbearable Lightness Morning glory buds unfurl in the first rays unlike you these will be here till dusk. Even the mist has shapes unlike your unbearable lightness - no voice, no shadow, no footsteps. Never again will the phone summon me to your bedside what unbearable lightness of certainty! Edited July 28, 2009 by goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Never againwill the phone summon me to your bedside what unbearable lightness of certainty! A poem indeed worth the title= Which I believe Kundera borrowed Nietzsche so for a work of this reverse-gravity ( a philosophic physic pun ;-) I find it appropriate that you use it. The undoing of the self in this piece is remarkable, with the sad and wistful embodied end set against the disembodied natural world of the beginning. Well, well done! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 The anguish delivered by this piece, especially in the first and third verses, can only be described as unbearable. The only thing "heavy" is the heart -- day after day, month after month, life after life. I hope yours will find some comfort soon. Tony PS -- love the form, btw. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Poet (U.K.) Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Hi goldenlangur, A beautiful yet, haunting piece of writing. Realy good! Best regards Viking Poet (U.K.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Anyone who has experienced unrecoverable loss will understand and weep at these words. Only a soul who has felt this could have captured it so profoundly. Emptiness that fills a room; silence that fills the ears. Incredible! rg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 (edited) hi goldenlangur. what a treasure to read. i like rhymeguy's remarks. i have a light void where light covers it up because of this poem. excellent poem. my favorite of yours so far. it flowed and had rythm and it was free verse my type of poem. tho you did have a few rhymes but nothing was forced. a very enjoyable easy read. thanks victor Edited August 4, 2009 by Larsen M. Callirhoe Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Hi gl, Your poem begins brightly with the morning glory then steps back and makes a negative comparison which surprised me. The next stanza lists a series of negatives so that when the 3rd stanza comes it is almost a relief to read the same words in different sequence. There is melancholy in this piece but I felt that in the end there was release. Nice writing. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Wonderful poem GL. Good choice with using the "Unbearable Lightness" and goes together with your poem in perfect way. The end gives a lot of sense and talks a lot. Gl I enjoyed this poem. The sadness captured me here. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 5, 2009 Author Share Posted August 5, 2009 Thank you everyone for reading this and posting your thoughts. Work is hectic. I will return to read and review and also reply in detail to all your thoughtful comments. With appreciation. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 A poem indeed worth the title= Which I believe Kundera borrowed Nietzsche so for a work of this reverse-gravity ( a philosophic physic pun ;-) I find it appropriate that you use it. Yes indeed DC both Heidegger and Nietzsche influenced Kundera's vision of the individual's destiny and choice. I like how you've read the disembodiment of both spirit and the natural world. Thank you for a gratifying read and response. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 The anguish delivered by this piece, especially in the first and third verses, can only be described as unbearable. I hope yours will find some comfort soon. Tony PS -- love the form, btw. I'm amazed how time after time you reviews hone into the heart of a piece and how perceptively you express that tuning in. I'm particularly taken with this: The only thing "heavy" is the heart -- day after day, month after month, life after life. Thank you so much Tony both for a fine review and your kind wishes. Re the form - I don't think it is anything particular other than my efforts to disguise a tanka and a few haiku in this ;) Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 Lovely to meet you Viking Poet :) I'm pleased that this touched you. Thank you. Best Wishes. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 Hi rg, What can I say to your beautiful response? It's poetical and so generous. This is superb: Only a soul who has felt this could have captured it so profoundly. Emptiness that fills a room; silence that fills the ears. rg Thank you so much. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 Thank you victor. I'm delighted that you read this as a favorite of my efforts. You're right - I don't usually write much outside tanka, haiku and a haibun or two. So I'm pleased that you think this works. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 Hi Tink, You're right that the delicate Morning Glory has a negative link here - its demise at the end of the day suggests transience. The negatives in the next stanza too are linked to this sense of the fleetingness of life and relationships. I suppose in the end there is release if a unwanted one. Thank you for reading this and posting your thoughts. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 So glad Alexander that this piece talks to you and that you sense the sadness. Thank you so much. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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