goldenlangur Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 (edited) Bones of Ghosts A bowl of warm blood and bones of ghosts. Your offering. You're no human and I? A creature of your intent trapped in this land of holes fathomless and directionless. You say: the sky vibrates as rippled metal to the beat of your iron heart. Hollowed of all senses I still hear this music of your malice. Piecemeal, you splinter my being dissolve me in oblivion. Edited August 9, 2009 by goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Another exciting read, Goldenlagur. The poem settles on the reader like a winter of discontent, and it makes him feel as though it were directed at him. The speaker's resentment borders on vindictiveness and is quite unnerving. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 Thank you Tony for your warm commendation for this effort. Your considered reading is gratifying: it makes him feel as though it were directed at him. The speaker's resentment borders on vindictiveness and is quite unnerving. Tony Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Odd I posted a reply and it disappeared;-) An astonishing piece! It left a metal tang taste of blood in my mouth and created a sense of something inhumanely human. Quite brilliant! Many Thanks Golden! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Bones of Ghosts....... Golden, this is a poem what I can read all day long. The poems like this poem, makes me to think a lot, and it's right for my taste. You are using amazing expressions, and you make a scene on the way as mosaic. The first part leads the poem I think - I especially enjoyed: A creature of your intenttrapped in this land of holes It's written in " other " dimension waht gives a speacial sense of the poem. The title is perfect. I enjoyed so much golden. I loved this poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 wow GL, what a magnificient writing piece by you. i agree with Dr, Con's sentiment exactly. i like your response DC. (i have had stuff get lost in the ethernet before dr. con.) goldenlangur this piece is so encryptic and crisp like a finely tuned musical instrument (orchrestra or ship). i enjoyed this. your poetry in this style is powerful and a treat to read. your two free-style poems i commented on are what zen masters create in short poems using very few syllables but in the english language only a few can master a famous articulate quote using large vernacular. a little different than haiku styles. please keep experiementing with this style. i like what i have read of your free style so far GL :party on: victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Most of us are taught to believe that there is a greater power overseeing things universal. We are told that there is goodness, love, empathy etc. But life does not always feel that way. The poet here seems to ball their fist, raise it in the direction of this power and dare to challenge the ultimate authority and control; to deny the thought that we are but creatures of intent, despensable at the whim of that greater power. Really enjoyed reading and thinking about your work. rg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 Hi Aleksandra, You must know how rewarding it is when someone delves into a poem and extracts the essence with sensitivity This is how I feel about your amazingly generous and perceptive reading and review: Bones of Ghosts....... Golden, this is a poem what I can read all day long. The poems like this poem, makes me to think a lot, and it's right for my taste. You are using amazing expressions, and you make a scene on the way as mosaic. The first part leads the poem I think - I especially enjoyed: A creature of your intenttrapped in this land of holes It's written in " other " dimension waht gives a speacial sense of the poem. The title is perfect. Aleksandra A big thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 Hi victor, Your most encouraging and comprehensive review gives me hope that I may well be able to use more of the free style verse form: i enjoyed this. your poetry in this style is powerful and a treat to read. your two free-style poems i commented on are what zen masters create in short poems using very few syllables but in the english language only a few can master a famous articulate quote using large vernacular. a little different than haiku styles. please keep experiementing with this style. i like what i have read of your free style so far GL :party on: victor I cannot thank you enough. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 Thank you very much DC for that massively encouraging review. I'm sorry that you lost an earlier post - it has happened to me but I always assume that it is internet problems in my part of the world. I appreciate your returning with a review. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 Hi rg, You have a wonderful way of expressing your thoughts and also show a generosity of spirit in attempting to hone into another member's work and give it an in-depth and insightful reading. Thank you so much. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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