goldenlangur Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 it's your birthday soon should I send a card or phone what will we talk about our jobs, the new airport but not why you left Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 A birthday should be a joyous occasion, but there's some tension, some awkwardness, some "unfinished business" so to speak between the well-wisher and the recipient of the birthday wishes. Their relationship has been reduced to civility. The reader gets the sense that the speaker is trying to reach out, but the other has turned cold. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 A concise reflection which says a great deal in so few words- have been on both sides of that conversation and now my head is filled with past voices in an unending stream. Quite Nice! DC Quote thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Hi Tony, You put your finger on the intent: "unfinished business" You're right - birthdays should be happy celebrations not the marking of a past hurt. I'm always amazed at the trouble you take to engage with a work posted here. Thank you so much for the considered review you've given this tanka. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 I appreciate Dc that this had a familiar ring to it. now my head is filled with past voices in an unending stream. DC You express well how the past keeps its hold on us. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Goldenlangur - a wonderful tanka. The sadness with doubt...The warmness in between the coldness. Interesting - I don't know how to express myself better. I feel this poem more than I can tell about. Glad you shared this. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 Hello Aleksandra, I don't know how to express myself better. I feel this poem more than I can tell about. I think you express yourself well: :D ...The sadness with doubt...The warmness in between the coldness Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 Hello Golden, Your language flows so naturally but the last line is such a punch line. We will talk about this, that, anything but that most sensitive one. Best, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Hello Lake, Good to see you around. I appreciate this perceptive reading very much: ... the last line is such a punch line. We will talk about this, that, anything but that most sensitive one. Best, Lake The final line of the tanka should deliver the most meaning and I find this a huge challenge. So it's very encouraging when a reader understand this aspect. Thank you very much. I hope to read your work soon. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douglas Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 yes. much melcholy beneath this. loaded with compressed sadness. how we can lose ourseleves in chit chat and skirt the true issues sometimes. very good! Quote To receive love, you have to give it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 At first I found the unadorned nature of this writing read like a statement. So what? I thought. And yet here I am returning for another read because it resonates beyond a simple statement. The extended narrative that lies beneath. The dilemma of communication and engagement with another. Language used to manoeuvre around communication. The rituals of communication, those calender contacts that mock and yet we cannot reject. The difficulty becomes palpable. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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