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Poetry Magnum Opus

Japan, 1932


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It was Hakone


at the Fuji-ya Hotel


old and dark and grand




that I first met you


fresh in your new kimono


soft wisteria




when I said my name


of a sudden embarrassed


you had caught my eye




and I looked away


my father from behind me


clapped my back and said




such a pretty girl


she has hips she'll give you sons


and my face went red




and your face went pink


and you looked to me for help


and I thought OK




I'll marry this girl


I know she doesn't love me


nor do I love her




but we'll have children


and love will grow between us


long before we die

Edited by dedalus

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

loved it. never seen haiku in this style. much enjoyed read. loved the style. it had rhythm, flowed, well-thoughtout, and well written. thanks!!!


larsen aka victor michael

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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  • 3 weeks later...



I enjoy how you used Haiku form to deliver a story. And it is indeed happiness against the odds.

There is honesty in the penultimate stanza but you will marry each other nontheless and do well as said in the last stanza in which I see how the tradition works.


All the best,



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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Wonderfully conceived, but why not omit the haiku-like burden in the ?title? Being reasonably close to the 5/7/5 syllable count model in the stanzas is not enough to merit that apellation, nor does that enhance an otherwise already very good poem.

Edited by waxwings
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