Musing

[Aleksandra]

I take a childhood moment

and run to nowhere.

I grab the first photograph in the album

and hide in the basement.

The old dolls are sitting there;

they see me as some stranger.

The shelves are covered with a dust

called memory...

 

Look how beautiful she was --

long golden hair with a big open smile

and me, funny and full of joy,

not caressed by tomorrows...

 

I am here now

with a heart of ice and a face of stone.

I damn. Then, I regret.

Don't blame God, my granny would say,

yet I do not.

I wonder whether God blames me.

[tonyv]

Another perfect one, Aleksandra. The way in which the speaker considers the present by contemplating the past (when she did not, could not, know the future) is brilliant, and your use of the word tomorrow in the plural (tomorrows) reinforces the manner of reflection. How she goes on to handle her misgivings tells a lot about her --

 

I damn. Then, I regret.

Don't blame God, my granny would say,

yet I do not.

-- and the reader can see that, despite her feelings of wretchedness, she is neither without nor immune to guilt:

 

I wonder whether God blames me.

I love your work.

 

Tony

[dr_con]

Aleks,

 

I agree with Tony- Perfect pitch, a strong premise and a powerful 'Musing'

 

 

Very, very good work!

 

DC

[badger11]

A profound last line that resonates and makes this reader reflect.

 

The narrative structure of the opening created the moment for me.

 

Lovely write Aleks.

 

badge :0)

[Aleksandra]

Another perfect one, Aleksandra. The way in which the speaker considers the present by contemplating the past (when she did not, could not, know the future) is brilliant, and your use of the word tomorrow in the plural (tomorrows) reinforces the manner of reflection.

 

-- and the reader can see that, despite her feelings of wretchedness, she is neither without nor immune to guilt:

 

I wonder whether God blames me.

I love your work.

 

Tony

 

Tony, how what a good reader you are. By reading your comment I even find it to myself some of the points what I didn't realize before in my poem. Thank you so much. I am pleased with your words.

 

I agree with Tony- Perfect pitch, a strong premise and a powerful 'Musing'

 

DC

 

 

Thank you Juris, I am always willing to hear what your thoughts are. Glad you like reading it this " musing "

 

 

A profound last line that resonates and makes this reader reflect.

 

The narrative structure of the opening created the moment for me.

 

Lovely write Aleks.

 

badge :0)

 

Badge thank you for your showing up and right on my poem :) thank you for that. I am glad that there is a created moment for you.

 

Thanks for reading my poem my friend.

 

And thanks to all.

 

Aleksandra

[goldenlangur]

Hello Aleksandra,

 

The past and the present eliding in a painful moment but offering no respite for the narrator. This is an eloquent line:

 

The shelves are covered with a dust

called memory...

 

Guilt is a paralyzing force and you evoke this sense of trapping of the person:

 

Don't blame God, my granny would say,

yet I do not.

I wonder whether God blames me.

 

 

I read a kind of disenchantment with religious truths and the establishment.

 

 

You offered the reader a challenge here - even if I've missed your intention I've enjoyed this very much. It certainly leaves an imprint.

[Aleksandra]

Hello Aleksandra,

 

The past and the present eliding in a painful moment but offering no respite for the narrator. This is an eloquent line:

 

The shelves are covered with a dust

called memory...

 

Guilt is a paralyzing force and you evoke this sense of trapping of the person:

 

Don't blame God, my granny would say,

yet I do not.

I wonder whether God blames me.

 

 

I read a kind of disenchantment with religious truths and the establishment.

 

 

You offered the reader a challenge here - even if I've missed your intention I've enjoyed this very much. It certainly leaves an imprint.

 

 

Hello GL how nice to read your comment, as always. Glad you enjoyed this poem. You are reading very good and you are right here:

 

kind of disenchantment with religious truths and the establishment.

 

The challenge is the point from where I start to write, so I am glad that is reflected on the reader too.

 

Thank you for your wonderful comment.

 

Aleksandra

[goldenlangur]

....The challenge is the point from where I start to write, so I am glad that is reflected on the reader too.

 

Thank you for your wonderful comment.

 

Aleksandra

 

I'm delighted Aleksandra that I got some measure of the challenge with which you set out to write this beautiful poem. :D

[douglas]

this poem has many very poignant moments and very effective imagry. i like the journey the reader feels - going back in time and then feeling the sense of being in the present. i detect sadness and regret, but also hope and happiness between the lines. very nice alex!

[Aleksandra]

Hello dear Douglas. I'm glad you like the poem and thanks for your comment. I like how you read this poem.

 

Aleksandra