badger11 Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Slowly seeps A claret discarded In a room where two books lie While with soft sound A Labrador sleeps warm dreams As Night's light beads in a glass Emptying until Slender fingers peel A mind as if orange rind curls and glides Fields to fringed horizons Where combed-back whitethorn defies An embracing winter chill In her hand a book, spine curved and creased, dog-eared, corner limp with wine. Her lover lies in dreamless sleep; unblemished with stain his book unread. In tender care, between thumb and finger, she takes a glass and plays a claret thread across the virgin page. A fiction, a tear of red, as if as one they bled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Wow Badge... Haunting, surreal- a crystal moment captured as if in amber- magical and yet very grounded in an abstract now. Well, well done, DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Seems to me like the poem captures a perfect moment -- ... A Labrador sleeps warm dreamsAs Night's light beads in a glass ... ... Her lover lies in dreamless sleep; unblemished with stain his book unread ... -- even in the way that which is going on outside, in parts far removed, is described: Emptying untilSlender fingers peel A mind as if orange rind curls and glides Fields to fringed horizons Where combed-back whitethorn defies An embracing winter chill. Feels like a most carefree time. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Wow Badge... Haunting, surreal- a crystal moment captured as if in amber- magical and yet very grounded in an abstract now. Well, well done, DC&J Thanks Dr C. An old one I 'tinker' with now and then. Especially like the mix of 'surreal' and 'grounded' badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Seems to me like the poem captures a perfect moment -- ... A Labrador sleeps warm dreamsAs Night's light beads in a glass ... ... Her lover lies in dreamless sleep; unblemished with stain his book unread ... -- even in the way that which is going on outside, in parts far removed, is described: Emptying untilSlender fingers peel A mind as if orange rind curls and glides Fields to fringed horizons Where combed-back whitethorn defies An embracing winter chill. Feels like a most carefree time. Tony carefree?...but the second strophe would...? badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fader Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Such a sad poem! Seeking to escape the lonliness while in the same room as your love. Just my take on a hauntingly yet beautifully written poem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Such a sad poem! Seeking to escape the lonliness while in the same room as your love. Just my take on a hauntingly yet beautifully written poem. Fader my old poetic comrade always pleased to see your words and yes loneliness is often intense with those that matter. hope all is well badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) I remember I read it before and posed a question on the title "whitethorn" for its symbolic significance. All I know about whitethron's (hawthorn) fruits is that they taste sweet and sore, if that's one thing the pome tends to convery. It's such a delicate and tender write and the ambience created carries a sense of laziness, stillness, and loneliness. I paused at "unblemished with stain" though, trying to figure out if it is stained or not. If it is unblemished, then why do we need "with stain"? Is this for emphasis? Always a pleasure to read you. Lake Edited October 12, 2009 by Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 carefree?...but the second strophe would...? badge Badge, I'm not sure. I was enamored with the cozy mood of the first verse, but there does seem to be something sinister lurking beneath the surface of the second. Her lover liesin dreamless sleep ... In tender care, between thumb and finger, she takes a glass and plays a claret thread across the virgin page. A fiction, a tear of red, as if as one they bled. Dreamless sleep, a glass (of poison?), "as if one they bled" -- perhaps it's a murder-suicide or even a Romeo and Juliet style double-suicide. The poem is certainly thought-provoking ... intriguing. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Stains come about with awareness, guilt, a sense of loss, waste, disillusionment, experience. A girl once told me she cried when she lost her virginity because the boy said 'Is that all it is?' Thank you for remembering Lake. all the best badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Thanks for re-visiting Tony. She shared her dream, he had no dreams to share. Her journey away from fiction to experience. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Thanks for re-visiting Tony. She shared her dream, he had no dreams to share. Her journey away from fiction to experience. badge I like it. I started to see it after I read your most recent reply to Lake. There's a sadness and apathy present. The lover lies in "dreamless sleep" -- he rolled over and went to sleep as though the experience was something trivial -- and she is left to imagine, to pretend, "as if as one they bled." Still not sure if I'm on the mark ... Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 I like it. I started to see it after I read your most recent reply to Lake. There's a sadness, an apathy, present. The lover lies in "dreamless sleep" -- he rolled over and went to sleep as if the experience was something trivial -- Tony spot-on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Hi badge, I too remember this poem - haunting and full of unfulfilled ache - they share a moment, perhaps life and all the images suggest an attempt at intimacy but she is left with the stains of regret and unfulfilment: she takes a glass and plays a claret thread across the virgin page. A fiction, a tear of red, as if as one they bled. It is as if she is looking for a meaning or significance which is not there. You've created a great onomatopoeic impact here. The languid, sensuous tone contrasts well with the lingering or pooling of her regret and disillusionment - an anticlimax of sorts. I still love the sonority in this. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Her lover liesin dreamless sleep; unblemished with stain his book unread. What a poem badge. This is one of your best. I loved to read this one. I enjoyed reading all comments and thoughts here for the poem and I am amazed by all readings, and the most from your poem. Very interesting metaphors you use in some special way. This poem has a spirit. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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