badger11 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 The multicultural queue has dwindled to two. A hearse, black and shiny, curb crawls close by, we know the driver's fare is far too high. Seemingly lost in a state of limbo, along comes an angel with a dark halo. With heavy sigh, a jug of special brew, our serpentine lady opens up a view: Adam and Eve riding a bicycle made for two. She tosses a pearl with a winning smile, we wish her well for many a quiet mile. Quote
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 this reminded me of the tv show "charmed" lol. very clever poem. i loved the similies in it. made me laugh. adam and eve and a bycycle made for two made me think and laugh hope that was your intentions. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
dr_con Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Badge, a Quircky, morbid and fun piece- Reminded me of Beatles early psychedelia, or maybe XTC back in the day. Enjoyed! DC&J Quote thegateless.org
tonyv Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 The poem portrays a delicate balance, all quite tolerable until line five -- along comes an angel with a dark halo -- at which point it becomes downright disturbing. The threshold of the comfort zone has been crossed. Then, the poem continues in its previous playful manner. As is the case when playing with fire, there's precariousness throughout. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
badger11 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 this reminded me of the tv show "charmed" lol. very clever poem. i loved the similies in it. made me laugh. adam and eve and a bycycle made for two made me think and laugh hope that was your intentions. victor No at all victor, that was one of my intentions and pleased it worked. badge Quote
badger11 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Badge, a Quircky, morbid and fun piece- Reminded me of Beatles early psychedelia, or maybe XTC back in the day. Enjoyed! DC&J Spot-on Dr C.! badge Quote
badger11 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 The poem portrays a delicate balance, all quite tolerable until line five -- along comes an angel with a dark halo -- at which point it becomes downright disturbing. The threshold of the comfort zone has been crossed. Then, the poem continues in its previous playful manner. As is the case when playing with fire, there's precariousness throughout. Tony Thanks Tony I was thinking of changing the title to the 'Restless Lovers' - what do you think? badge Quote
tonyv Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 The poem portrays a delicate balance, all quite tolerable until line five -- along comes an angel with a dark halo -- at which point it becomes downright disturbing. The threshold of the comfort zone has been crossed. Then, the poem continues in its previous playful manner. As is the case when playing with fire, there's precariousness throughout. Tony Thanks Tony I was thinking of changing the title to the 'Restless Lovers' - what do you think? badge Hmmmm ... I wonder if it's necessary to include the adjective? I kind of like The Lovers or even just Lovers without the article. But, it's your creation. :D Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Aleksandra Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Seemingly lost in a state of limbo,along comes an angel with a dark halo. Wonderful written composition badge. The expressions are very original and effective. Glad to read this poem my friend. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia
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