Bloodyday Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 (edited) The distance- The distance from the point Where we stopped and walked away And the rest of my life I am just watching the distance growing Sometimes it hurts like a woundless pain Pityful is nothing But just to shed tears anymore I still stand waiting for the same Wish I could erase it all and all the blame The distance from my existence From my eyesight From my heart beat From my feelings Perhaps you are now the happy one Leaving me behind What I am not supposed to be. I try to catch you in the wind Sometimes in my dream Or sometimes in reality Cloud drizzles on my palm Or the sun shines on my face Or the snow covers my loneliness You are still the same like mountains of thousand years Sometimes I thought I born for your smile Sometimes I thought I born for your stare All the things you have gift those days Perhaps my memory is not able to erase Days after months Months after years Counting the end of my presence But I still can remember you in distance! Edited October 21, 2009 by Bloodyday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Welcome back, Rony! I'm happy for you that you're enjoying Sweden. I'm envious, too. I've been there. I like it a lot, and I'd like to go again. This is truly a great poem. Like so many of your works, it's filled with the freshest expressions. Woundless pain, "pityful is nothing," "cloud drizzles on my palm" -- there are too many good ones to list them all. And the title's a winner, too. For me, reading your work is bittersweet: it inspires me, but it also reminds me of my own inadequacies. Do post more poems soon ... Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 (edited) Hi Rony, Welcome back! I echo Tony on your fresh expressions such as "Woundless pain"... Sometimes, I envy the science students who write poetry - it must be their field of study that enable them to write something out of norm. When I read S1, I thought this is about one's journey; but upon reading S2, this leads to a love poem. "vanish", I thought it is an intransitive verb, can it have an object as in your "Wish I could vanish it "? Enjoy your study and stay in Sweden! Lake PS: Don't understand why it didn't show it got two replies. Edited October 15, 2009 by Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 Welcome back, Rony! I'm happy for you that you're enjoying Sweden. I'm envious, too. I've been there. I like it a lot, and I'd like to go again. This is truly a great poem. Like so many of your works, it's filled with the freshest expressions. Woundless pain, "pityful is nothing," "cloud drizzles on my palm" -- there are too many good ones to list them all. And the title's a winner, too. For me, reading your work is bittersweet: it inspires me, but it also reminds me of my own inadequacies. Do post more poems soon ... Tony Hi tonyv it so cold here but Sundsvall is a nice town and the study and labwork is going like hum-drum........i don't know what i have written but many days later, i have something to write.....but i need to improve more......that's all i know! thanks for your inspiration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 Hi Rony, Welcome back! I echo Tony on your fresh expressions such as "Woundless pain"... Sometimes, I envy the science students who write poetry - it must be their field of study that enable them to write something out of norm. When I read S1, I thought this is about one's journey; but upon reading S2, this leads to a love poem. "vanish", I thought it is an intransitive verb, can it have an object as in your "Wish I could vanish it "? Enjoy your study and stay in Sweden! Lake PS: Don't understand why it didn't show it got two replies. hi Lake nice and wise comment....i tried to fix it up but don't know is it good or not. but it always to have replies from the known ones! thanks again for your comment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Well, well, Rony. How nice to see you here after some time and read you. This poem gives wonderful image of love and longing. You express wonderful the pain. The expressions what you use are brilliant and I love your way. Always is good to improve and you do that very well. This is wonderful poem, very poetical and emotional. I loved what I read. Yes as Tony said, do post more poems, and give us the pleasure to read them. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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