Pest House

[tonyv]

No phone, no light, no air, water, or heat
No way to warm, no way to beat the heat
To have those things, there has to be a street

But who needs those when we got smokes and beer?
No need to stress, just have a smoke and beer
The asher's full, and there's a beer right there

My bed is big enough to sleep a king
When I lie down to sleep, I am the king
My mattress only has one broken spring

But from the woods exudes a fetid stench
Mosquitos and black flies swim in that stench
Since I can't flush, I dig another trench

I light a wick and try to write a poem
by candle, in my pest-house home, sweet home.

___________________________________
This one's a BLUES SONNET

[JoelJosol]

The poem is in sonnet form but uses a different rhyme scheme. The poem paints a picture of wasted talent. Poets don't enough to earn a decent living, tony :-)

[Aleksandra]

Tony, this is an interesting poem. I like your new attempts. You are experiencing something new, always. That is amazing. I want to do the same sometimes -- to write a sonnet, BUT ... :) I need much more than I have to do that .

 

The title is wonderful created as always, and the end of this poem is heartfelt and very wise.

 

I loved this poem a lot. I am more and more a fan of you, Tony. I watch at you like on an example for me.

 

Aleksandra

[tonyv]

Poets don't enough to earn a decent living, tony :-)

Seems that's always been the case, Joel. I wonder if it's that way because only a small, enlightened ;) segment of society values poetry? Oh, well ... the rest just don't know what they're missing. :D Thanks for reading and replying.

 

Tony

[tonyv]

This is interesting poem Tony. I like how you are giving a new tries. You are experiencing always something new. That's amazing from you. I want to do sometimes the same, to write some sonnet, BUT :) I need much more things to do that

I don't try as much, or as often, as I should Alek.

 

The title as always is wonderful created and the end of the poem is very moving.

Glad you liked it! Thanks!

 

Tony :D

[waxwings]

Fascinating. I like the vagueness of what a 'pest house' is, esp. the 'philosophical' treatment of it. Had not heard of a 'Blues Sonnet' before. Does it 'require' that kind of special/iffy English? I like the poem, but miss a (stronger?) fulcrum/turning point, even though it is kosher for contemporary sonnets to shun clear rhyme schemes/specific stanzaic structure. Of course, a respectable poem does not need to have any specific form. There is the 'Bartholomew Griffen' form/type, where all the line-end words are identical but have a variety of meanings/shades of meaning/usage. That works fine w/shorter forms, like the triolet.

 

waxwings

Edited October 29, 2009 by waxwings

[Lake]

Yeah, wonderful! The form, the rhyme stand out immediately when I first read it.

The theme fits in this form well. There is a sense of self-mocking(?) in it I feel.

 

The first time I heard about Blues Sonnet, I may want to have a try especially when I'm not good at meters and rhymes.

 

where all the line-end words are identical but have a variety of meanings/shades of meaning/usage.

 

Humm, this is a high standard from you waxwings. Glad to see you back.

 

Thanks Tony and Tinker for presenting this form to us.

 

Lake

[tonyv]

Thank you, Waxwings, for your close read and insightful reply.

 

Fascinating. I like the vagueness of what a 'pest house' is, esp. the 'philosophical' treatment of it. Had not heard of a 'Blues Sonnet' before. Does it 'require' that kind of special/iffy English?

I don't think it requires it, per se, since there really are no rules in poetry, but the blues does seem to work best if the language and vocabulary are sufficiently removed from "proper" English. With words like "fetid," I don't think the language in mine is far enough removed to be as true-to-the-blues as the works of Langston Hughes, but it might be passable.

 

I like the poem, but miss a (stronger?) fulcrum/turning point, even though it is kosher for contemporary sonnets to shun clear rhyme schemes/specific stanzaic structure. Of course, a respectable poem does not need to have any specific form. There is the 'Bartholomew Griffen' form/type, where all the line-end words are identical but have a variety of meanings/shades of meaning/usage. That works fine w/shorter forms, like the triolet.

According to Tinker's Blues Sonnet reference topic, "the pivot or volta should be in the last triplet." I'd say that, in this case, one is present, albeit ever so slightly, in the last triplet where the poem shifts from slightly self-deprecating irony to brutal honesty. However, I do recognize that it might be too subtle for many a reader's taste.

 

I am excited by the concept of employing identities having "a variety of meanings/shades of meaning/usage." Intriguing! I'll have to try that. Thanks again, as always, for your time and valuable input.

 

Tony

[tonyv]

Thank you, Lake. I'm glad you're excited by this.

 

There is a sense of self-mocking(?) in it I feel.

I'm very glad you caught that. The incidents of boasting do serve to mock the self.

 

Thanks Tony and Tinker for presenting this form to us.

Yes, thanks to Tinker. I wouldn't even have known the blues sonnet existed had I not read her reference topic on it, along with her fine example of the blues sonnet, found in the Verse Forms section.

 

Tony

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

tony you should publish your works. you would give readers a treat. i see so differently than waxwings. i enjoy the script and details more than focusing on a style to anylize something you write with scrunity.

 

victor

[tonyv]

Thank you, Victor. I'm glad you enjoyed this Pest House poem. Thank you for the kind compliments.

 

Tony :)