Anguish

[tonyv]

Nothing is as I imagined.
We are blatant almost-gods; we're
angels! serving other angels!
glorifying God! It's raining ...
Let it rain the hardest rain, and
may there be no sun or anyone.

[Tinker]

Nothing is as I imagined.

We are blatant almost-gods; we're

angels! serving other angels!

glorifying God! It's raining ...

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone.

 

Owch Tony, This is hard and hopeless but beautifully written. The meter is spot on, keeping cadence with the harsh reality of the words. You certainly described "anguish" with your imagery.

 

~~Tink

[tonyv]

Thanks, Tinker. I thought I'd give trochaic meter a try. Perhaps I'll try again ...

 

Tony

[goldenlangur]

Hi Tony,

 

 

Poignant and beautiful in the way you evoke hopelessness. I read a sense of coming to terms against a background of soul-destroying anguish which in its turns casts a shadow on any future prospects of hope or anticipation:

 

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone.

 

Once the transcendental has been deconstructed and its power and mystery stripped away, then perhaps we are left with nothing more to aspire to. This is what I got from your poem. Of course I could be off the mark.

 

The sonority here lends a melancholy tone of lamentation to the imagery in the poem.

[tonyv]

Thank you, Goldenlangur. Your reading is not at all off the mark. The phrase "ignorance is bliss" takes on a special kind of irony when one realizes that that which has been learned cannot be unlearned. For me, a "melancholy tone of lamentation" is the inevitable aftermath.

 

Tony

[summayya]

Nothing is as I imagined.

We are blatant almost-gods; we're

angels! serving other angels!

glorifying God! It's raining ...

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone.

 

 

How very tony-esque of you. I missed PMO and this welcomes me back well. Feels like starting from where I stopped. Thanks.

 

blatant almost-gods hit a cord. I totally know what that means.

 

And I always envy how well you use meter so well.

 

Really enjoyed. Thank you tony!

[tonyv]

I'm glad you liked this one, Summayya. Good to see you back!

 

Tony

[Aleksandra]

Tony, this is one of those poem which I love.

 

Nothing is as I imagined.

We are blatant almost-gods; we're

angels! serving other angels!

glorifying God! It's raining ...

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone

 

You did a great job with this one at the end. The expressions are growing up in the best order. It is very constructive the way how you are leaving the part about angels, expressing in superlative and giving one side of yours, and then you go deep to the hopelessness. Goldenlangur has explained that very good.

 

This poem took a special place at me, Tony.

 

Aleksandra

[tonyv]

I like how you read this poem, Alek:

 

You did a great job with this one at the end. The expressions are growing up in the best order. It is very constructive the way how you are leaving the part about angels, expressing in superlative and giving one side of yours, and then you go deep to the hopelessness.

Thank you for this!

 

Tony