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Posted

Nothing is as I imagined.
We are blatant almost-gods; we're
angels! serving other angels!
glorifying God! It's raining ...
Let it rain the hardest rain, and
may there be no sun or anyone.

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Posted
Nothing is as I imagined.

We are blatant almost-gods; we're

angels! serving other angels!

glorifying God! It's raining ...

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone.

 

Owch Tony, This is hard and hopeless but beautifully written. The meter is spot on, keeping cadence with the harsh reality of the words. You certainly described "anguish" with your imagery.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Posted

Thanks, Tinker. I thought I'd give trochaic meter a try. Perhaps I'll try again ...

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Posted

Hi Tony,

 

 

Poignant and beautiful in the way you evoke hopelessness. I read a sense of coming to terms against a background of soul-destroying anguish which in its turns casts a shadow on any future prospects of hope or anticipation:

 

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone.

 

Once the transcendental has been deconstructed and its power and mystery stripped away, then perhaps we are left with nothing more to aspire to. This is what I got from your poem. Of course I could be off the mark.

 

The sonority here lends a melancholy tone of lamentation to the imagery in the poem.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Posted

Thank you, Goldenlangur. Your reading is not at all off the mark. The phrase "ignorance is bliss" takes on a special kind of irony when one realizes that that which has been learned cannot be unlearned. For me, a "melancholy tone of lamentation" is the inevitable aftermath.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Posted
Nothing is as I imagined.

We are blatant almost-gods; we're

angels! serving other angels!

glorifying God! It's raining ...

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone.

 

 

How very tony-esque of you. I missed PMO and this welcomes me back well. Feels like starting from where I stopped. Thanks.

 

blatant almost-gods hit a cord. I totally know what that means.

 

And I always envy how well you use meter so well.

 

Really enjoyed. Thank you tony!

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

Tony, this is one of those poem which I love.

 

Nothing is as I imagined.

We are blatant almost-gods; we're

angels! serving other angels!

glorifying God! It's raining ...

Let it rain the hardest rain, and

may there be no sun or anyone

 

You did a great job with this one at the end. The expressions are growing up in the best order. It is very constructive the way how you are leaving the part about angels, expressing in superlative and giving one side of yours, and then you go deep to the hopelessness. Goldenlangur has explained that very good.

 

This poem took a special place at me, Tony.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Posted

I like how you read this poem, Alek:

 

You did a great job with this one at the end. The expressions are growing up in the best order. It is very constructive the way how you are leaving the part about angels, expressing in superlative and giving one side of yours, and then you go deep to the hopelessness.

Thank you for this!

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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