jondan Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Autumnal Colours Autumnal colours embrace my heart, rustic leaves and golden browns; desolate skies as birds depart. Autumnal colours embrace my heart, mother nature's work of art, through rolling hills and lowly downs, autumnal colours embrace my heart, rustic leaves and golden browns. David T Smith copyright 19th October 2009 Quote
tonyv Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 The meter's right there, and the repetition works well. Welcome, David! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
jondan Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 The meter's right there, and the repetition works well. Welcome, David! Tony Thank Tony for your comments and a warm welcome...Dave Quote
Tinker Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Hi David, Welcome! This poem reminds me that there is so much inspiration in the seasons, I have to get outside. The line repetition was interesting. At first I read this as an octave made up of 2 quatrains rhyme abab abab, but then I realized you wrote a Triolet, an octave made up of 2 tercets followed by a couplet with repetition and only 2 rhymes.... ABa bAb AB ... Cool! ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com
Aleksandra Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 This was an easy read Dave. Short, compact, good sound. I like it. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia
summayya Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Ahah! I love when poetry has music and this was so easy to read. Compact and musical and the meter and refrain worked so well bringing out the unexplainable beauty of a fall. Though autumn carries a particular sad mood with it but your musical poem reminds me that spring is not far behind. thanks for a musical poem! Enojyed Quote
jondan Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Hi David, Welcome! This poem reminds me that there is so much inspiration in the seasons, I have to get outside. The line repetition was interesting. At first I read this as an octave made up of 2 quatrains rhyme abab abab, but then I realized you wrote a Triolet, an octave made up of 2 tercets followed by a couplet with repetition and only 2 rhymes.... ABa bAb AB ... Cool! ~~Tink Hi Tink for taking the time to read and review my work, I look forward to reading your work...Dave Quote
jondan Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 This was an easy read Dave. Short, compact, good sound. I like it. Aleksandra Hi thank you Aleksandra for your lovely review,I appreciate your comments...Dave Quote
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