Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Salisbury Hill


jondan
 Share

Recommended Posts

Salisbury Hill

 

We made love beneath the stars,

took our passions to Venus and Mars.

I held you till the morning light,

caressed your body, throughout the night.

 

And when we awoke to an early morn,

a love so strong, had been reborn.

I think of that night, when the eve is still,

our night of passion, on Salisbury Hill.

 

Your aroma, your smile, your beautiful face,

naked skin trembling, in passions embrace.

We were one, joined together...by love,

moonlight shining, in clear skies above.

 

Hands held gently, a secret romance,

a knowing smile, a furtive glance.

I love you more, and always will,

Our hearts forever, on Salisbury Hill.

 

 

 

David T Smith

copyright 3rd September 2009

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like how you mention places. Salisbury Hill in this one, Sefton Park in the last one -- the local (?) references make it interesting, personal, and real.

 

Tony

 

 

Hi Tony, alas never been to Salisbury Hill, but spent many a happy hour walking and playing tennis in Sefton Park, Liverpool . Thank you for being the first (and only to date), to review my work on this site...Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Dave, I think you have taken on one of the most difficult themes to write. The greatest poets have pretty much done love to death which makes it almost impossible to write without being cliche. I think you gave this a great try but for me it is like so many other love poems I have read, nothing new here.

 

On the bright side, you have a naturally good sense of rhythm and I will be very interested in seeing what more unique or personal poems you will come up with.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Dave, I think you have taken on one of the most difficult themes to write. The greatest poets have pretty much done love to death which makes it almost impossible to write without being cliche. I think you gave this a great try but for me it is like so many other love poems I have read, nothing new here.

 

On the bright side, you have a naturally good sense of rhythm and I will be very interested in seeing what more unique or personal poems you will come up with.

 

~~Tink

 

Oh Tink, "love makes the world go round". I do have a dark side and like to rant now and then, but if I couldn't write of love again, the world would be so dull. I have posted 2 others which yoy may enjoy...Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Jondon,

 

 

Good to meet you. Both Tony and Tink are accomplished poets and have a repertoire of poetical allusions and knowledge to draw from in their reviews. So posting a review after them is a tough task.

 

I agree with Tony that naming a place gives a poem a certain resonance for the reader. Tink has touched on a issue that many of us struggle with - how to write something original and stimulating, not just on love but on any theme, as we are a part of a much larger and wider tradition/heritage of writing. A challenge indeed.

 

The rhythm you've set up in your poem with the gentle rhymes. To quote a couple of these:

 

stars, Mars, morn, reborn

 

captures well the romantic tone of your poem.

 

 

 

Thank you.

Edited by goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.