untitled

[summayya]

There was a time in my life when I was as pure and innocent as the dew drop that wets the morning and blends into the beauty of an eternal life. I admit I shouldn’t have wished for more yet I was curious and I grew out of that pure life and learned the manners of the world. I vapourized everyday at the birth of the sun, working the day off to be born again in the night. And when the moon woke and mad men rose from their graves I whispered the miseries of my life to them. They kissed my forehead and cried their pains to me until I was so broken that I bursted into a tear drop and lay quitely in the silent morning having nothing more to say…

[Tinker]

Hi Summaya, This certainly projects a mood. It is very sad to read. Your English is usually flawless but you might want to take the "ed" off of "burst". Reading bursted reminded me that English is not your native language and although your piece speaks of losing innocence and purity, the word sounded very innocent and broke the spell your previous words had woven. ~~smile~~

 

~~Tink

[tonyv]

A nice snippet. I liked "manners of the world," and I seem to recall "mad men" from somewhere else ... But why untitled?

 

Tony

[goldenlangur]

Hi summayya,

 

Haunting and filled with a sense of loss.

 

 

Beautiful!

 

Thank you.

[Aleksandra]

Summayya, this was an emotional prose piece full with sadness. The mood has reflected effective into this prose. Short one but enough to be felt.

 

Aleksandra