Time Will Tell

[goldenlangur]

Time will tell

 

The early autumn dawn is moist with dew and the grass is cold to his shoeless feet. The waning crescent fades in the sunlight and bird trills ring out loud.

 

'This is what I will miss', he sighs and hunches into the warmth of his fleece.

 

He doesn't need scans or a biopsy to tell him how for months he has felt it grow and spread inside him. He can even imagine how it looks - perhaps with a pale rim but a dark, decaying core. Possibly some dents and scoops like the crater on the moon he once saw on the News. Can something like this be painless? He wonders if the pathologist will smell the dying tissues when she examines the histology specimen.

 

 

His wife, young and unwilling to see the hollows of his face, insists that technology has advanced and that the specialist is optimistic about his chances of survival. She is still asleep, her head now rolled onto his side of the bed, right arm stretched out, palm open and facing down on his pillow.

 

" I will miss her too," he says softly.

 

What if the treatment doesn't work? The amount the specialist quoted for the initial phase of treatment would swallow up his entire savings. If he died in the middle of the treatment she would have nothing. If he survived, how could they afford more treatments and specialist care? Suddenly he knows what he has to do. In the kitchen he writes her a brief note. Then he punches a number on his mobile.

 

At the station he pays the taxi driver and walks onto the tracks. The Morning Express is on time.

Edited November 23, 2009 by goldenlangur

[tonyv]

Golden! This is extreme! I always thought that a train would be the quickest, most idiot-proof way to go. A gun leaves too much room for error, a fall from a building leaves too much time to think on the way down, but a train ... It's instant.

 

This is about a person who has lived (and now could very well die) in accordance with what he's been told, whether on the News or by "specialists." The gamut of thoughts going through his head --

 

Possibly some dents and scoops like the crater on the moon he once saw on the News. Can something like this be painless? He wonders if the pathologist will smell the dying tissues when she examines the histology specimen.

-- runs from one end of sanity's spectrum to the other.

 

I always enjoy your poems and your prose. Thanks for another fine work.

 

Tony

[goldenlangur]

Hi Tony,

 

I like how you've read the significance of the train:

 

... I always thought that a train would be the quickest, most idiot-proof way to go. A gun leaves too much room for error, a fall from a building leaves too much time to think on the way down, but a train ... It's instant.

 

I'm so glad that this came across for you particularly how seemingly sane it all seems:

 

The gamut of thoughts going through his head --

 

-- runs from one end of sanity's spectrum to the other.

 

 

 

Thank you for the review and your generous words of encouragement.

[worm]

Thanks golden for this story, sadly beautiful. every word utters, powerful. it strikes me so heavily that I could hardly have an empathy for the couple after the reading, tears almost welling up. The tone of narration is pertinent and sincere. The ending leaves us readers some regrets, but more comforts with love, courage and shining humanity in the protagonist.

[goldenlangur]

Hi worm,

 

 

Thank you very much for taking time with this piece and for your warm and encouraging comment.

 

 

 

With appreciation.

[Aleksandra]

Almost without words, goldenlangur. Simply as worm wrote - sadly beautiful. In those cases, a person doesn't know what is better, to die right away or to wait for that. None of the other is ok...

 

Thank you for sharing, and sorry I am almost a year late to comment on this, but I have read long time ago.

 

Aleksandra

[fdelano]

In so few words, we learn a lot about the MC, his approx. age, his outlook on life, his views about his own body, his relationship with his wife and his determination to not inflict an unrecoverable burden on others. To me, this is more a character study than a tale of events. Thank you for sharing your insight into the human enigma.

fdh

[goldenlangur]

Hello fdh,

 

I am delighted that the character of the MC comes across:

In so few words, we learn a lot about the MC, his approx. age, his outlook on life, his views about his own body, his relationship with his wife and his determination to not inflict an unrecoverable burden on others.

fdh

 

 

I do like how you've read this as a character study:

To me, this is more a character study than a tale of events. Thank you for sharing your insight into the human enigma.

 

 

 

human enigma

 

Absolutely spot on.

 

 

Thank you. :D

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

touching and sad. but alas it is life nevertheless. we all explore avenues when possible demise might happen to oneself. most times more then naught we do not think of others especailly are loved ones when such thoughts taint our souls most unfortunately. he gave a reflection atleast before saying goodbye. we will never no if one has ever made the right choice. the living will go on lliving of course. and of course the dead will always mock us. if only i had a working revolver i would say goodby in a love poem entailing how i hate you all for not giving me mercy expecailly god since sophia said goodbye to me and i would pull the trigger hoping the round would be a silver bullet casing reconfirming my demise worked.

 

 

 

victor michael

[goldenlangur]

That you for reading this and your thought-provoking comment, victor.

 

Please accept my apologies for this late acknowledgement.

 

You're absolutely right:

 

... we will never no if one has ever made the right choice. ...

 

victor michael

 

For yourself - you've been through so much and come out with great courage and verve. I sincerely hope that you will continue to write and share your thoughts.

 

All good wishes.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

hi goldenlaugar life has so many mysteries. yet to some of us certain type of a mystery is solved we have that possibilty worked out we believe another that mystery is not solved and a fear rules. i love and enyoy the way you put your warm heart into the poetic soul thoughtful thought provoking into your writes such true honest meanings. i am thankful i found warm people in the poetry world other then a handful of people in medical or spiritual world i have found kin in the poetry world.i have designed two pictures. sophia the goddess gave me hundreds of tips on how to paint one picture. i only have one painting but i was told it will sell for 400 million USA dollars. It is called" Roses at the Cross" it is above love, purity, death, rebirth, forgivess, sadness, justice, birth, and purity. i have like a hundred pages of noted on how tto paint using certain techniques. my friend because og my near death experiences and my hundreds of days fasting like 250 days in the last 15 years i see how we go to classes in heaven preparing for next lif.

I have studied religions better then almost everyone else on earth. i am familiar with like 300 wordsin over 70 different languagues. most of the words i learned in other tongues deal with religions.

 

 

and what joseph smith taught from the mormon religion is really more real then all others except catholic belief on virgin mary. i went to classes in heaven and li earned about surgery and how to paint like vincent van gogh. it will taje me near a thousand years to complete what he did in less then 40 years. it will beconsidered a work of heart like the statue of king david in italy and the work of michalanga etc... also. i am from yeshua's and miriam magadelio's third of three children. i am there only son. there first daughter ws named sarah. the daughters went into france and bbecame part of the cathareders. my last name is the virgin mary's last nme. she had no other children. jospeh was old when he wed mary. he had a total of 6 children from his wife who died when the virgin mary was ten. know one listens to me even the ones who are

close to the truth. i am not the archangel michael. i am prince michael of this city when it used to be a nation. it is a aramaic city in turkey now. it was one of 6 plain cities near what is now called the dead sea. 2 cities desroyed 4 others evacuated. genesis 10:19 last word of scripoture passage of the bible m

entions my last name as a city that was the re

al capital of the world according to the book of jasher. prince melzekic i am accended from also lol. he was shem noah's first born. this spirit shem was really a past life of jesus christ.