Lake Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Roaming No one knows when this little flower withered, left behind hairy white heads crownless, without butterflies nor bees dancing around. Softly bent down, ground-stems-twist, persistently it awaits for the final blow. After all, it can only drift, rove; it is a dandelion. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Lake, Descriptive, accurate and just plain fun. A very enjoyable feast- The last line (to me) is a little abrupt and falls a bit flat- Maybe something like: After-all it is its nature/ the ever moving dandelion... Or... well just a thought... The title (and thematic substance) is a joy as well... Many Thanks, DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Lake, this is a very emotional and metaphorical piece. I enjoyed reading it all along, loudly. It's amazing how you took the flower as an metaphor. This poem is one my favorites by you. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 This makes me think of summer and one of my not-so-liked chores: cutting the grass at my parents house from time to time. But you left out the part about the horseflies ... But, really, it's beautifully expressed, Lake. Good choice of rove in lieu of roam in the penultimate line since you already have the latter in the title. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Hi dr_con, Thanks for your comment. The last line does sound a bit abrupt, doesn't it? I'll think it over. Glad you like the title. Lake, The last line (to me) is a little abrupt and falls a bit flat- Maybe something like: After-all it is its nature/ the ever moving dandelion... Or... well just a thought... The title (and thematic substance) is a joy as well... Many thanks and happy holidays. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Alek, So glad you took the flower as an metaphor. What I intened was to use it to imply immigrants. But others may have different takes and that's fine. Many thanks and happy holidays. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Good choice of rove in lieu of roam in the penultimate line since you already have the latter in the title. What can I say ? You caught me on that again, Tony. Season's greetings. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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