Your Matilde

[Aleksandra]

Alone on the street, I ran

to Wright's river.

Me loving you and you loving me,

I got lost in the middle of Paris.

While walking the old streets of Verona,

a dog asked me for food. I looked

to the left side of the horizon, fed

the dog my notebook, and left

my pen inkless.

 

And now, I will be your Matilde to whom

you never wrote a wooden sonnet.

[waxwings]

Lovely and whimsical. Is that Matilde the Aussies sing about?

[tonyv]

A lovely poem, Alek. I recognize several of the allusions you have employed.

 

The first, of course, is a reference to James Wright's collected poems titled ABOVE THE RIVER. The poet uses it to set the stage, perhaps alluding to the melancholy of James Wright. Or she might feel some other connection to him.

 

The poet also mentions Paris which is often thought of as a romantic place. But she also references Verona, the setting of the love tragedy ROMEO AND JULIET. And even with its initial romantic inclinations, the poem quickly leans away from any thoughts of "new" romance evoked by Paris toward tragic ones evoked by Verona.

 

In her wanderings, the narrator encounters a hungry dog. She has compassion on it and "feeds" it her notebook. But, in doing so, she herself will remain "hungry," as she is left without a notebook and doesn't even bother to ink her pen.

 

The ending couplet and title are, of course, a reference to PABLO NERUDA. Some readers could even think that "Matilde" is an allusion to WALTZING MATILDA, the "unofficial national anthem of Australia." But those who are familiar with Neruda will immediately recognize it to be an allusion to MATILDE URRUTIA, to whom he dedicated his "100 Love Sonnets," or "Cien Sonetos de Amor," which he characterized as "wooden sonnets."

 

The poem evokes a mix of feelings. Thanks for sharing it.

 

Tony

[badger11]

The feeding of the dog was the moment for me!

 

Very much enjoyed Aleks

 

badge

[Tinker]

I loved this piece Aleks. Wow and double Wow.... I could hear the tune Waltzing Matilde in the background of this read almost from the first moment. But this poem is so much more. This is poetry. It sings, it intrigues, it has a cultured voice.

 

There is another site where "poets" post and are immediately and rudely instructed by the moderators to go away and read thousands of poem by established poets before trying to write another poem. Although I find the practice insensitive, I have to admit the advise is valuable. So many "so called" poets think they can just write because they feel. But writing poetry is a craft as well as an art. It takes more than raw talent, or an interesting story to create poetry in my opinion. To assimilate the work of the masters, to emerse one's self in good writing can only bring each of us aspiring writers closer to mastering the craft. This poem shows that. I hear so much in this piece.

 

~~Tink

[waxwings]

tony's calling up of details re the allusions is most welcome, but what pleases me is Alex' skillful weaving together (lovingly done) of seemingly (at least on the face of it) unrelated but emotionally significant musings. The whole is lifted above the quotidien by that "left side of the horizon".

 

The mention of Verona made me think of "Kiss Me, Kate", Hollywood's version of "Taming of the Shrew" and thus does not spoil the romantic feel. At least not for me!.

Edited February 12, 2010 by waxwings

[goldenlangur]

Hi Alexandra,

 

This is quite a departure from your usual writing - the literary allusions are to the Anglo-Saxon tradition rather than to your own native tradition which you brought to the reader in your works in the forum.

 

You show a deftness of touch in the way you've woven the literary landmarks : Wright's rive, Paris and Verona. In Verona, I also read an allusion to the drama of Opera, as this city is the home of the great Operas.

 

For me the most telling Alexandra lines are:

 

... fed

the dog my notebook, and left

my pen inkless.

 

I've enjoyed this exploration in your writing and look forward to reading some more such experiments.

 

 

Thank you.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

Wow Aleks what a master piece and treat. Tony you are too smart lol. I was going to look up Wright. Maybe I've come across a poem or two of his live heard and never gave it much thought.

 

I loved the dog line. A budling master would say something like that to Shakespeare. A true genus. Or a master piece by artist a starry night. Lol I can't think of his name for some reason and my favorite artist and masterpiece. Will look I up and finish my comments. anyway i posted a song/poem by Don McLean called Vincent ( " Stary, Starry Night " ). Don McLean a budling at the time wrote a ballad about the master Vincent van Gogh and my favorite artist lol.

 

Alek's with this peace you have touched the great master Jesus Christ tip of his pen with this writing. I am referring to the lost writings of the bible.

 

A little secret about most of my writings now is that angels tell me what to write after a crying about. What if you knew the future and everyone laughed at you, or marked (mocked) you off, stoned you.. thus is my life. My writings are on a digital card. When I go light asa jedi master my writings will be talked about for thousands of years lol. They will say is he crazy or did he talk to the spirit world. No he has gone mad lol.

 

Tonight i had a vision. "come and take my hand" he said. a demon grabbed my hand and said come follow me and listed. i saw into people's minds. the place i was at was not important i was told. but listen to this my demonic counterpart said. listen carefully how they are talking about you all these people demonizing you and yet you like Yeshua say they know not what they think or they say. next i was in alarge ocean with depths unknown with my cousin Elisha and i had a flashlight and a strange creature jumped on me and i got my foot up above water and shook the beast off my foot and it landed on my cousin Elisha's head and she sunk down below never to be seen again. When i came out of a trance it smelled like ash and cinder in my room.

 

Enough said.

[dr_con]

Aleks,

 

The allusions were pitch perfect- the poem had the universality of truly great piece on the very first layer, with-out external reference-Very well done and very impressive...

 

Really enjoyed!

 

DC&J

[Aleksandra]

A lovely poem, Alek. I recognize several of the allusions you have employed.

 

The first, of course, is a reference to James Wright's collected poems titled ABOVE THE RIVER.

 

***

 

The ending couplet and title are, of course, a reference to PABLO NERUDA.

 

Thank you Tony, for your wonderful comment here. You are right and it's your fault me to write this poem with those allusions because of the wonderful books what you sent to me as a gift and, I am in love with "Above the River" and "100 Love Sonnets", from where I learn a lot.

 

Thank you once again.

 

Aleksandra

[Aleksandra]

Waxwing, thank you as always for your reading my work. I am glad you like it.

 

My badge, thanks to you too. Feeding a dog is always a moment ;).

 

Wow Tinker, I must look for Waltzing Matilda. Before the poem I knew only about Pablo's Matilde :). I am pleased to read such a wonderful comment from your side. I appreciate it. Thank you.

 

Goldenlangur, how enjoyable it is to hear your thoughts. I am amazed you noticed the difference. Even while writing this poem I felt myself different. I like how you presented most Aleksandra lines :). I am coming up with more soon ;).

 

My dearest Victor. I am impressed with your come back in poetry world lately. I am glad you like this poem and it is interesting your mention about Starry Night by Gogh, because when I asked some help from Tony about the title, he gave as an idea exactly - Starry Night, after he read the poem he got some association with starry night. But ok it stayed the first, the raw one :). Thank you for your comment and for sharing your experience.

 

Juris, thank you. I am impressed that the allusions worked for you too. I am glad that I write poetry after I read all your comments.

 

Aleksandra

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

bump. people need to read this gem again.

[Aleksandra]

:icon_redface: This means you like this poem :). Thank you, Victor. I like this poem of mine, as well :). I am not satisfied with all my poems, but about this one, I feel differently :D.

[waxwings]

I noticed someone posting a 'bump' to encourage us to read this poem again.

 

I did and enjoyed it even more. However, there is (in L's 5 & 6) something English teachers despair over ever teaching us not to do. It is not exactly (horror of horrors) a dangling participle, but, how does the reader know for sure who, the dog or I, the writer, (not me) is "walking the old streets of Verona". The poem would still be as charming, regardless. On first read I thought it was, naturally, the writer, but a first read is most likely less attentive. It is possible that a dog walking the street could ask the writer for food.

 

I have been advised many times, and I now know why, to use verb forms ending in -ing very carefully, even avoid them in poems, because condensation (sparingness of words), though a major strength of poems, makes it very easy to create confusion of meaning.

 

For somewhat related reason, I wonder if swapping the order of L's 3 & 4 would preclude reader from seeing:

 

"lost in middle of Paris while walking streets of Verona."

 

Moreover, it seems that "I ran etc. ", "I got lost etc.", "I looked etc.", "I fed etc." and "left etc." make nice, strong extension of parallel construction.

 

 

Alone on the street, I ran

to Wright's river.

Me loving you and you loving me,

I got lost in the middle of Paris.

While walking the old streets of Verona, ~~~~~~~ why not "As I walked the old streets...."

a dog asked me for food. I looked

to the left side of the horizon, fed

the dog my notebook, and left

my pen inkless.

 

And now, I will be your Matilde to whom

you never wrote a wooden sonnet.

Edited July 14, 2010 by waxwings