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Poetry Magnum Opus

Valentine Poem


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Posted

Do you remember the red boots
and the muddy puddle?
I remember the splash you made
with the crowd, the laughter
that colours my days.

Posted

Hi badge,

 

Wonderfully playful and yet wistful - if I'm not too off the mark - this has such a tanka-like tone and effect. I love the :

 

... the laughter

that colours my days.

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Posted

- this has such a tanka-like tone and effect.

 

I must admit my friend I had not intended that, but perhaps a subconscious effect of my reading elsewhere!

 

hope all is well

 

badge

Posted

 

I must admit my friend I had not intended that, but perhaps a subconscious effect of my reading elsewhere!

 

hope all is well

 

badge

 

You tell a story well in a few lines so reminiscent of the tanka. Me thinks you've got the spirit of the form :icon_sunny:

 

Celebrating our new year and hoping to write more in the months to come.

 

Lovely to read your work again.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Posted

I see a lovely exchange has taken place here, triggered by a lovely "Valentine Poem." :D (I, too, noticed its tanka-like characteristics. -_- ) But I love its personal element. This one's like a snapshot. Happy V-Day!

 

Tony :heart:

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Posted

Tanka or not, but a wonderful poem :). Very soft and bright poem. In some way nostalgic, also. I read this with a smile on my face, and I sunk in feelings. Very positive poem.

 

Badge, thank you for this calmly and enjoyable poem.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Posted

So much sunshine and smiles my friends :HUG:

 

 

badge :D

Posted

Oh yes- sunshine and smiles evoked by this lovely beam of sunshine- well done Badge!

 

 

DC&J

Posted (edited)

I have always said that a good poem will stand up because it is good in itself. Being reminiscent of some classic form is not a requirement.

 

This one shines, esp. because of the magnificent idea that (her/your) "laughter (does) color my days" [forgive the slight paraphrase]. It is way beyond what a traditional tanka would dare to say, because Japanese poetry is more into symbolic statements to evoke emotion, while this is breathtakingly hidden a trope, not readily apparent untill you see what is not said.

 

Thanks for letting me find it.

Edited by waxwings
Posted

Thank you WW and DR C. for bringing some sunshine on this snowy day.

 

badge

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