badger11 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Do you remember the red boots and the muddy puddle? I remember the splash you made with the crowd, the laughter that colours my days. Quote
goldenlangur Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Hi badge, Wonderfully playful and yet wistful - if I'm not too off the mark - this has such a tanka-like tone and effect. I love the : ... the laughterthat colours my days. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.
badger11 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 - this has such a tanka-like tone and effect. I must admit my friend I had not intended that, but perhaps a subconscious effect of my reading elsewhere! hope all is well badge Quote
goldenlangur Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I must admit my friend I had not intended that, but perhaps a subconscious effect of my reading elsewhere! hope all is well badge You tell a story well in a few lines so reminiscent of the tanka. Me thinks you've got the spirit of the form :icon_sunny: Celebrating our new year and hoping to write more in the months to come. Lovely to read your work again. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.
tonyv Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 I see a lovely exchange has taken place here, triggered by a lovely "Valentine Poem." :D (I, too, noticed its tanka-like characteristics. ) But I love its personal element. This one's like a snapshot. Happy V-Day! Tony :heart: Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Aleksandra Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Tanka or not, but a wonderful poem :). Very soft and bright poem. In some way nostalgic, also. I read this with a smile on my face, and I sunk in feelings. Very positive poem. Badge, thank you for this calmly and enjoyable poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia
badger11 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 So much sunshine and smiles my friends :HUG: badge :D Quote
dr_con Posted February 15, 2010 Posted February 15, 2010 Oh yes- sunshine and smiles evoked by this lovely beam of sunshine- well done Badge! DC&J Quote thegateless.org
waxwings Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) I have always said that a good poem will stand up because it is good in itself. Being reminiscent of some classic form is not a requirement. This one shines, esp. because of the magnificent idea that (her/your) "laughter (does) color my days" [forgive the slight paraphrase]. It is way beyond what a traditional tanka would dare to say, because Japanese poetry is more into symbolic statements to evoke emotion, while this is breathtakingly hidden a trope, not readily apparent untill you see what is not said. Thanks for letting me find it. Edited February 16, 2010 by waxwings Quote
badger11 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Thank you WW and DR C. for bringing some sunshine on this snowy day. badge Quote
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