The San Francisco Federal Building

[dr_con]

The San Francisco Federal Building

 

We saw/him/her

handcuffed by homeland/

security/ The only apparent/

Threat/bundle of rags/drunk/

pain/tears/poverty/four military/

men/women/cowards/guns/pepper/

spray/immaculate/uniforms/boots/

freshly cleaned/blood/sweat/pee/

shit/frozen/hard/bodies/brains/

compassion/before/

 

San Francisco/Federal/building/

people/eyes/ears/hearts/averted/

from/toward/Rises above/city/

architecture/geography/heads/

designed/a joke/chanced/

to look/after/disaster/

buckled/draped/

hidden/secret/

 

corners/zag/zig/

scaffolding/camouflage/

discomfort/threat/windows/

doors/obscured/entrances/exits/

hidden/whole/special effects/distraction/

after collapse/already happened/

[tonyv]

The title immediately piqued my interest, Juris. I think your inclusion of the name of the city supercharged it.

 

At first glance, (because of its unconventional punctuation) the poem comes across as experimental, but I would say that it leans heavily toward CONCRETE POETRY. I Googled some images of the building itself, and its architectural style is unusual; the poem looks like the building! Even the punctuation and abrupt language drive home the poem's unpleasant theme -- the state of the "mother- and fatherland" -- with the efficiency of totalitarianism.

 

Poets have stood up for principle and justice countless times in the past. This poem makes your voice heard today.

 

Tony

[goldenlangur]

Hi DC,

 

 

I too went googling for the building and I amazed how you've combined the concrete physical descriptions of the building with a vivid description of the thoughts that the building engenders in the narrator. it is aif the labyrinths of the building is a mirror of the labyrinth of the narrator's thoughts.

 

 

The link you make between this astounding architectural structure and the brutal and dehumanizing use to which it is put in the first stanza is startling:

 

 

The San Francisco Federal Building

 

We saw/him/her

handcuffed by homeland/

security/ The only apparent/

Threat/bundle of rags/drunk/

pain/tears/poverty/four military/

men/women/cowards/guns/pepper/

spray/immaculate/uniforms/boots/

freshly cleaned/blood/sweat/pee/

shit/frozen/hard/bodies/brains/

compassion/before/

 

San Francisco/Federal/building/

people/eyes/ears/hearts/averted/

from/toward/Rises above/city/

architecture/geography/heads/

designed/a joke/chanced/

to look/after/disaster/

buckled/draped/

hidden/secret/

 

corners/zag/zig/

scaffolding/camouflage/

discomfort/threat/windows/

doors/obscured/entrances/exits/

hidden/whole/special effects/distraction/

after collapse/already happened/

Edited March 12, 2010 by goldenlangur

[goldenlangur]

Cannot edit or use quote in this post. My apologies DC that my review is a little ungainly in appearance.

 

[Aleksandra]

I must admit Juris, I am bit lost here :). But I like how this poem looks, new for a change ( at least for me ).

 

Alek

 

PS: I am reading lately again from your book, and I loved the selection of poems inside.

[badger11]

An invitation, it seemed, for the reader to be the writer, but after reading a few times I rather enjoyed the perspectives. Reminded me of cubism.

 

badge

[dr_con]

Many Thanks Tony, GL, Aleks and Badger! Tony yes indeed and I'm glad you googled the Image. Golden that's exactly what was intended... Aleks- No worries- my brother who reviewed this piece had the same reaction...

 

And Badge- I enjoyed your first take on this- indeed a 'write your own poem' ;-)

 

Many thanks all...

 

DC&J

[douglas]

i found this poem very powerful and your original use of punctuation created a strong, jarring rhythm which i think strengthens the subject matter. the words pounce upon the reader and gain momentum as the poem is traveled through.

 

well written and thought out as usual!

 

doug