dr_con Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 The Absence that Travels A crow in the sun blinds me with omens His caws overflow self I am not myself after sitting Greater than this morning bigger than a phone pole covered with vines connecting San Francisco row houses echoing with voices of farmers immigrants first-time- owners students poets drunks mechanics romantic- languages indigenous and nomadic histories- All spinning through joy sorrow misunderstanding his simple song of Come home come home now. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I love how you captured the moment (like a snapshot) in this just-right piece, Juris. Enjoyed the cityscape. I felt like I was apart of it. Tony PS -- Happy Birthday! (I don't say belated, because a birthday celebration should go on for at least a couple of days thereafter.) :) Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) The structure is like the reversal of your other poem "Stars". Great imamges in the first two stanzas as contrasted by the abstract in stanza three. I have a feel that the speaker's thoughts are roaming as expressed in the line "I am not myself after sitting". There are some peculia expressions (in a good sense) that can not be fathomed in a normal way - His caws overflow self, Greater than this morning - to mention a few. Enjoyed, Lake Edited May 14, 2010 by Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 Hi DC, Another treat after Aleksandra's poem! Here is another poem which juxtaposes images and associations and lets the reader in to make of these what they can. The archetypal symbolism of the crow and omens sets the tone of this piece. I love the echoing rhyme here: San Francisco row The crow's caw melds with the sound of the multitudes of farmers immigrants first time owners students poets Your closing lines give an intimate tone to the crow's message. I am quite intrigued by the crow, omen and its caw as we too have such symbolism in our popular myths surrounding the raven as a harbinger of messages and our King has the raven crown. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 15, 2010 Author Share Posted May 15, 2010 Many Thanks All- I have started a new project of interwoven pieces- we'' see how it fares- but I have great gratitude for your generous reflections and comments! GL I would love to be pointed to more background of you cultural mythology- I was humming with the Norse and Odin but would love to see a bit about yours! Many Thanks All! DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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