Shell Beach Ballet

[Tinker]

Shell Beach Ballet

The grey whale feeds,
performing
as if aware we watch,
her set the sea.
She shifts stage left, stage right,
breaking the surging surface
with the power and grace of Baryshnikov,
her rise and descent
in cadence
with the swells.

Her blow
marks the meter
while the putrid stench
from the spray
recalls her mission.

In a water dance staged
against the horizon
she arches
ready to dive,
pauses,
elevates her tail high
into the air
and hangs . . . .suspended,
then slices the plane of the sea.
--------------- --Judi Van Gorder

 

For another whale experience see Geoff's  Back Home

[goldenlangur]

Hi Tink,

You poem took me googling for Baryshnikov and in the context of this Foundation's experimental dance and artistic programs, your images of the grey whale commanding the waves in energetic dance-like movements, work very well.

The dramatic effect you describe here is superb, both in the visuals you create and in your use of language:

 

...she arches
ready to dive,
pauses,
elevates her tail high
into the air
and hangs . . . .suspended,
then slices the plane of the sea.
--------------- --Judi Van Gorder

Thank you for a wonderfully vivid and enjoyable read.



goldenlangur

[Tinker]

Thank you gl, whale watching is an annual event here, they are awesome creatures. This particular moment occurred at Shell Beach near my home, where I had taken my son to collect shells at low tide. There was a whale feeding right off shore, she was so close we could see the barnacles on her and smell her blow (like rotting fish). She put on a show for us I will never forget, nor will my son and he was only 5 at the time.

 

~~Tink

[Aleksandra]

Tink, as golden says, this is so vivid poem. And sounds so artistic and so nice. I loved how this part goes:

 

In a water dance staged

against the horizon

she arches

ready to dive,

pauses,

elevates her tail high

into the air

and hangs . . . .suspended,

then slices the plane of the sea.

 

wonderful write Tinker. Much enjoyed.

 

Aleksandra

[tonyv]

Hi Tinker,

 

I like how the title contains a local reference. Comparing the whale's activities to ballet makes an accurate metaphor, and the mention of meter in the second strophe is clever. I myself like the last line:

 

... then slices the plane of the sea.

 

Enjoyable imagery in this one!

 

Tony

[Tinker]

Hi aleks, Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it. The whale is an inspiring creature.

Hi Tony, I appreciate your comments which help me a great deal, since the poem is right now in surgery being rewritten. One of the areas I thought to change but after your comment, I question is, I was going to change the title to Grey Whale Ballet, and remove the 1st 3 lines. Now I am rethinking it. This writing stuff isn't easy.

~~Tink

[Benjamin]

Lovely piece of work Tink captures the grace of life in one of natures giants. B.

[Tinker]

Thank you Geoff, my poem is a little more pleasant memory of these animals than your Back Home but you round out the life cycle. We each have a part.

 

~~Tink

[Frank E Gibbard]

Good resurrection by Benjamin. Beautifully described slice of your life Tink, takes you there. Frank