dr_con Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 only at depth What is black magic uh uh uh liquid gold spillin' from a mother's stomach uh uh uh uh makes no nevermind just read those entrails uh uh uh Fella says to me without god's moral code uh uh uh uh I would surely do wrong uh uh uh I wouldn't hold back from taking the world uh uh uh uh killing my own children to feed my own need uh uh uh profit from someone else's back kissing the devil uh uh uh uh That's just plain wrong uh uh uh You do that old black magic every day you live uh uh uh uh hating them all because of what some book said uh uh uh Blinded by greed to the precious gift of this life uh uh uh uh pretending its ok to not take any blame uh uh uh responsibility belonging to god or those others uh uh uh uh Seeing the surface never the depth uh uh uh refusing to see the mess you've made of it all uh uh uh uh What black magic isn't is the light that shines uh uh uh cracking the mystery leaving only the Love uh uh uh uh only the love uh uh uh that runs through it all uh uh uh uh - uh uh uh Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Interesting use of repetition, Juris. The poem itself reads like a scathing rebuke of organized religion. Well-expresed! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Hi D_C, At first I saw the uh uh uh every other line and thought Huh? But I found the rhythm of this poem, punctuated by the chant like repetition the driving force of the poem. It put an exclamation point on each thought. I liked it. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted June 3, 2010 Author Share Posted June 3, 2010 Thanks Tinker & Tony! Imagine this as I perform it with a rattle in the background ;-) Many thanks for your comments and insights! J&DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Is it about the recent oil spill? I feel the anger in the poem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted June 4, 2010 Author Share Posted June 4, 2010 Very perceptive as always lake! Thanks for catching it! DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Hi DC, I wondered if this is written in the rap beat and language? The mix of beautiful imagery with the violence in the tone is quite startling and effective: liquid gold spillin' from a mother's stomach I could be wrong but the reference to the reading of the entrails seems to be a reference from Vodoo or shamanic practices of divination. How poignant then that the reading indicates greed and destruction. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 Thanks GL- I was aiming for pre-rap more blues and yes straight into voodoo- as always thank you for your perceptive comments;-) Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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