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Poetry Magnum Opus

Mother


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Posted
as she stepped through the mud

wildflowers sprouted

from her footprints. she smiled

loose and unbalanced.

 

I love to be surprised. Fresh and talented write.

 

badge

Posted (edited)
as she stepped through the mud

wildflowers sprouted

from her footprints. she smiled

loose and unbalanced.

 

I am enjoying this, but have some qualms about the intent of 'unbalanced'. Of several possibilities there is one that 'frightens' me.

 

I wonder if my idea of how that could be avoided is wrong, but here goes:

 

she smiled

as she stepped through the mud

wildflowers sprouted

from her footprints,

loose and unbalanced.

 

I have a hard time assuming Mother is 'loose and unbalanced', but a 'loose and unbalanced smile' defies (my) comprehension. Would you elucidate?

Edited by waxwings
  • 4 weeks later...
Aleksandra
Posted

John, I agree with, badge - this is a fresh and talented write. I love your newest poems. Just keep writing ;).

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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