goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 The Mirror Full moon night – cicadas drone and areca fronds streak the mirror in his hands in rippling shadows. An icy blast mists the glass, he hears that familiar sigh, breathes her sandalwood perfume. Phantom fingers trace his face. The mirror is now a black pool, I have paid my dues, he whispers. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spauldhr Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Wow, this took turn at "he hears that familiar sigh" for me and became really intimate. Something about the image of fingers and mist and glass is very sexual. I liked it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 An otherworldly experience. The full moon night, the sounds of the insects, the shadows cast by the motion of the areca fronds, the smells of her perfume, and the fleeting touch of her fingers -- all are highly sensual and exciting. The last lines seem to blend despair with righteous indignation: The mirror is now a black pool, I have paid my dues, he whispers. I enjoyed the underlying theme of this ghostly write: alone, yet not alone, then still alone. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 wow gongenlangur btw longtime no speal to eack other. you captured the mood of your poem several times over with your vivid imagery that is well painted thruout your poem. i loved all of it equally much and couldnt pick a favoed line from it. awesome poem my friend. victor aka larsen Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Goldenlangur wonderful expressed poem my friend. Very quality expressions. So deep and vivid. It is compact poem, well description: Full moon night – cicadas drone and areca fronds streak the mirror in his hands in rippling shadows. then the way of the poem with a deep sense of poetical touches: An icy blast mists the glass, he hears that familiar sigh, breathes her sandalwood perfume. Phantom fingers trace his face. and on the end a good precis, and closing of the imagery , but with empty space for to go on, because he just whispers... The mirror is now a black pool, I have paid my dues, he whispers. A wonderful write GL. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 The last line, to me, sounds like, the prior sign of presence was more like castigating in purpose, leading to the reaction in the last line. I read the last line more like 'stop bugging me'. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hello spauldhr, Lovely to meet you! Thank you for your comments. I like how you read sensuality in the images here. With appreciation, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Tony, My apologies for this delayed response to your wonderful reading of this piece. My computer packed in during an update and I've finally managed to retrieve much of my material and access my mail! I'm delighted that you read the "otherworldly" aspect here and also that touch of "despair" and protest/indignation. Allegiance to one's ancestral deities has its darker side was my intent and you've grasped much of this very perceptively. Thank you so much, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Victor, Long time indeed since we spoke and exchanged ideas! I have missed your wistful, romantic poems and hope you'll post your work here soon. Thank you so much for your generous endorsement of my writing. I'm very glad that you enjoyed the images in this one. Hope to read your work. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 You've made my evening with your remark about how you found this piece "compact" . I'm trying to write with lesser details and more plain language and I'm delighted that you read this piece in that light. Yes, "his voice" is one of despair and emptiness as the goddess can be capricious. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reading. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 I'm delighted by your interpretation JoelJosol. There's certainly "castigating" and a sense of being overhwlemed here. A big thank you. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi gl, I enjoyed this read. I was interesting that each time I read it, it seemed almost a different poem. First read it was romantic, then with a closer look, it was almost spooky. Probably other worldly fits better. The last line haunts me, a whole story the reader isn't privy to. This is a good one. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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