badger11 Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 is the window open? is that a draft from the moor, a snake slithering beneath the tor, under the door, across the floor? should she switch on the bedside lamp? And if she should dare to whisper, to worm these walls, scent a garden with colour and light, seek warmth from another? that voice? like a flock of gulls screaming for green and peace - is that a lock unlocking? what scurrying feet are fleeing the clock? are those child's eyes? And if she should pillow this child, snuggle her warm beneath the duvet, like a swan asleep in snow, dreaming of rainbow flight... who is she that smiles through the looking-glass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waxwings Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 I like the way this feels. The first stanza is especially charming, and the others just a tad less. If anything, I wish could wish the sranzas would wane less as they approach the end. But look who is talking. The one who has as yet no ideas to support his complaints. Thanks for the nice read, badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 18, 2010 Author Share Posted July 18, 2010 I like the way this feels. The first stanza is especially charming, and the others just a tad less. If anything, I wish could wish the sranzas would wane less as they approach the end. But look who is talking. The one who has as yet no ideas to support his complaints. Thanks for the nice read, badge Cheers WW. Yes, it does wane, but it was some 'fun' to write. I will probably play around with some more as usual all the best badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fader Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 is the window open?is that a draft from the moor, a snake slithering beneath the tor, under the door, across the floor? should she switch on the bedside lamp? And if she should dare to whisper, to worm these walls, scent a garden with colour and light, seek warmth from another? that voice? like a flock of gulls screaming for green and peace - is that a lock unlocking? what scurrying feet are fleeing the clock? are those child's eyes? And if she should pillow this child, snuggle her warm beneath the duvet, like a swan asleep in snow, dreaming of rainbow flight... who is she that smiles through the looking-glass? I really enjoyed the feel of this as I read it. Quite fascinating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Badger, this is very enjoyable poem to read and, I would like to hear YOU reading it. I loved the metaphors, I loved the expressions. All together works perfectly. The title is simple and gives a charm. The last line excites me. I must read this one again and again. Thank you for sharing. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Share Posted July 19, 2010 Thanks Fader. Yes, I guess it is a 'feel' poem. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Share Posted July 19, 2010 Badger, this is very enjoyable poem to read and, I would like to hear YOU reading it. I loved the metaphors, I loved the expressions. All together works perfectly. The title is simple and gives a charm. The last line excites me. I must read this one again and again. Thank you for sharing. Aleksandra A mug of tea Aleks!? While enjoying a read... We'll have to have an audio week-end get together soon. Pleased it pleased. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Wondrous fun! a lyrical pleasure that unwinds and rewinds through dreamlike poesy- fantastic! Enjoyed mightily... DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Share Posted July 20, 2010 Wondrous fun! a lyrical pleasure that unwinds and rewinds through dreamlike poesy- fantastic! Enjoyed mightily... DC&J A pleasure to have pleased. cheers Dr c. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 A mug of tea Aleks!? While enjoying a read... We'll have to have an audio week-end get together soon. Pleased it pleased. badge Badge, it's just a cup of coffee :). And yes, I would love to. We can do that. I expect and hope to get soon a new computer and to do all the things that I'm missing to do, while I stress myself by using this "tractor" computer :D. Have a good summer days! Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 This one gives me a sense of timelessness, for it makes no mention of any technology. Days gone by, today -- it makes no difference; the poem transcends time. I enjoyed the melody and the mystery, Badge. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 A mug of tea Aleks!? While enjoying a read... We'll have to have an audio week-end get together soon. Pleased it pleased. badge Badge, it's just a cup of coffee :) . And yes, I would love to. We can do that. I expect and hope to get soon a new computer and to do all the things that I'm missing to do, while I stress myself by using this "tractor" computer :D . Have a good summer days! Aleksandra The coffee fix! Try a soothing camomile tea or perhaps a fennel and peppermint tead to de-tox badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 This one gives me a sense of timelessness, for it makes no mention of any technology. Days gone by, today -- it makes no difference; the poem transcends time. I enjoyed the melody and the mystery, Badge. Tony Thanks Tony. An indulgence by me, but pleased it worked for you in a way. cheers badge :icon_cool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Hi Badger, I love the sonics of this whimsical piece. Especially the sound and cadence of the first strophe. It was a strong opener but I didn't feel the following strophes were waning. The poem wouldn't have the same texture if the power of the opening cadence continued throughout. The warmth and love I felt from the last strophe was a beautiful conclusion.. So many dimensions to this one. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 28, 2010 Author Share Posted July 28, 2010 Hi Badger, I love the sonics of this whimsical piece. Especially the sound and cadence of the first strophe. It was a strong opener but I didn't feel the following strophes were waning. The poem wouldn't have the same texture if the power of the opening cadence continued throughout. The warmth and love I felt from the last strophe was a beautiful conclusion.. So many dimensions to this one. ~~Tink As always Tink your guidance is very much appreciated now and on many previous occasions. Means a lot that the poem's cadence was evident to the reader. I'm pleased to see you have found time to progress your project too! Hope all is well with you. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 badge my sentiments exactly peppermint tea mixed with ginger tea now that is what i used to drink for stomachaches i have read some very good poems today and this is no exception i am forgetful now since my car accident. i have a very large vocabulary but can't spell lol. and someone stole my computer dictionary so i am upset. last week my parents went thru my stuff here and couldn't find it. excellent write badge. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted July 29, 2010 Author Share Posted July 29, 2010 my sentiments exactly peppermint tea mixed with ginger tea now that is what i used to drink for stomachaches Thanks Vic. Now that tea option is one I'll have to try! badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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