River OF Wine

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

I love to dance with you

and hold you close

to my heart.

Here in the dark

I whisper to you.

 

I wish I could promise you

the world and give you the moon.

 

Everything you do

melts me like chocolate.

 

I drink a glass of wine

and my thoughts turn to you.

 

Every night Im alone

I stare out the window.

I look at the street lights

and wonder where

all the people have gone.

 

Dancing in the dark I sip my wine

rivers of blood flow from my heart.

 

Dreams come true

and reality becomes dust.

Everyday I was with you

I was in another world.

 

Where did it go wrong

I have moved on now

and found someone else.

 

River of wine

I make a toast.

Time goes by

and everything

will be alright.

 

I dance in the moonllight

wishing to hold you tight.

 

River of wine

you are so fine.

Everything about you

puts me in the dream world.

 

River of wine

it flows in my heart.

I care for you

like the stars

that shine at night.

 

One more time

I have memories of you

We both have moved on.

Now Im in a different world.

 

Oh what do I do wishing for a hope.

But, I swim in the river of wine

and fall hopelessly for another

life where I can be free

to do as I please.

 

I drink from the river of wine

another day passes in the sunset

and I want to hold you tight

and tell you everything

will be alright.

Edited August 9, 2010 by Larsen M. Callirhoe

[tonyv]

I like how you set the mood, Victor --

 

I drink a glass of wine

and my thoughts turn to you.

 

Every night Im alone

I stare out the window.

I look at the street lights

and wonder where

all the people have gone.

-- and how you make me wonder:

 

I have moved on now

and found someone else.

Is the "someone else" the river of wine?

 

Tony

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

tony you saw thru me lol/ of course it isa metaphor. the river of wine is my new friend. my girlftiend saiud that it was about my exwife and her and it is about me once being able to be playing the paiono and i can't play it anymore so the river of wine is my new friend. your veryintelligent to see that lol.

[Lake]

Hi Larsen,

 

I think you have a good title here, "River of Wine" is poetic, metaphoric. Lots of associations: lust, intoxication...

 

There's a feel of yearning in this poem.

 

Best,

 

Lake

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

thanks lake i hope you read my comments to tony to better understand the poem. i will have people question this one for eons lol as to what it means.

 

my best.

 

victor

[RHommel]

Hi Victor,

 

I like this very melancholy poem. It's funny, your style reminds me of that of an old friend of mine who was a songwriter in his youth, and when I read your comments to Tony, it's remarkable how similar your story about the poem is to my friend's situation. Very nice. Thank you.

 

~Rachel

[waxwings]

A lovely poem, victor, and, if I vere a publisher I certainly would like to publish more of your poems of this kind. It is a lengthy one, not my favorite type, therefore it must be the poem at the core that I find so very endearing. You have made it accessible to all who know what loss of those dear and a decline of abilities are like.

 

I urge you to check some of your line breaks. There are quite a few short ones, in some stanzas, that tend to hurry the reader more than the overall feel of the poem seems to be comfortable with.

 

I need to tell you that of many images I have read in my not so short life none are lovelier than that of the last three lines of S12.

Edited August 13, 2010 by waxwings

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

hi waxwings i think i agree with you that it gets choppy in about five or six places becauseof line breaks i still muight change this one a little bit. ijust might cut out the endings of a couplestandings

[goldenlangur]

Hi victor,

 

Your poems full of feelings flow in stream of consciousness style. I read the whole through slowly as each stanza brought out another image and thought and at the end of it was left with a deep sense of ache.

 

Here are my favorite details:

 

...I stare out the window.

I look at the street lights

and wonder where

all the people have gone.

 

 

I drink from the river of wine

another day passes in the sunset

and I want to hold you tight

and tell you everything

will be alright.

 

 

 

Thank you for a beautiful poem.

[Aleksandra]

Vic, this is a wonderful mix of brightness and positiveness, with melancholy, nostalgia. I like how you go up and down with the narrator's feelings. You know how to make your poems very close to the reader.

 

 

Aleksandra