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winter - tanka


goldenlangur
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goldenlangur

this wet winter

of your death

everyday I walk in the rain

and feel the sting

of unsaid words on my face

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

Goldenlangur my friend. I adore yours tanka poems. Always they are so deep and meaningful. Rich with wisdom and in this case with emotional imageries and expressions.

 

I love the start :

 

this wet winter

of your death

Very sad and touching

 

And the last line, ahh very deep:

 

of unsaid words on my face

 

You know very well how to make perfect expressed poem GL, and to keep the attention on the poem, on the main sense of the poem.

 

Thank you a lot for sharing. Much enjoyed

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aahhh I missed your wonderful poetry Gl. Happy to have the opurtunity to read these amazing tankas again.

 

And you retain your precise form: saying everything and more in only a few words!

 

Wonderful! And with the recent death of my very dear grandmother I can really feel the "sting" of the "unsaid words"! I love how its was "on the face"! And of course your setting is awesome, as always "the wet winter"!

 

Many thanks for a lovely poem... it touched my heart!

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goldenlangur

Hello Aleksandra,

 

You're right - the tanka does allow one to explore experiences like death and I'm very grateful that you give such generous support for my writing. Not out of false modesty but I still feel I have a lng way to go before I can write a good tanka. In the meantime, I try and use the form as much as possible to get that feel of its essence.

 

So I appreciate your warm and considered review here.

 

 

Thank you,

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hello summayyah,

 

I'm touched that this tanka struck a personal note for you. You're right - the physical asunder from a dear person is so absolute and final and one is left with memories and also a tinge of regret of what might have been and all those things one wanted to say but never did.

 

I do understand your grief at your grandmother's passing.

 

Thank you so much for reading this and posting your moving words.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi goldenlangur,

 

Long time no see. icon_smile.gif

 

I like the simplicity yet piercing feeling of this tanka.

 

good link of "wet winter", "the rain" and "the tear".

 

Enjoyed it.

 

Lake

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goldenlangur

Hi Lake,

 

You have no idea how encouraging your review is! The tanka is a quite a challlening form but most rewarding to and I'm still on the lower rungs of the tanka ladder. But I'm really pleased that you saw the link between the cold, wet winter, tears and grief.

 

 

Thank you very much,

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Wow!

 

Hi gl, this is very moving. "The sting of unsaid words" The next time I feel the icy rain on my face, I know those words will pop into my head.

 

So much said, in so few words. I loved this!

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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goldenlangur wrote:

this wet winter

of your death

everyday I walk in the rain

and feel the sting

of unsaid words on my face

 

 

goldenlangur

 

I find some of your recent work more 'expressive.' I feel expressive work takes more chances than understatement and restraint. For me you succeed. The walk in the rain was like a penance.

 

very much enjoyed gl

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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goldenlangur wrote:

this wet winter

of your death

everyday I walk in the rain

and feel the sting

of unsaid words on my face

 

 

goldenlangur

I, too, like how you modify the wonderfully poignant expression winter of your death with wet. For me, winter is mostly frigid and dry; rainy wetness adds gloom and would probably bring me down even more. I like how you liken the sting of the unsaid words to the pelt of rain on the face.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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goldenlangur

Hi Tink,

 

I'm grateful that you find this tanka works in some way. "Icy rain" is exactly what I had in mind.

 

 

Thank you very much,

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hi badge,

 

You make a very perceptive observation here:

 

badger11 wrote:

...I find some of your recent work more 'expressive.'...

badge
icon_biggrin.png

 

When I first began to write about 3 years ago the use of an "assertive" I was quite disconcerting and difficult. But there comes a time when certain experiences require, what you call, "expressive" identification and articulation. In this, the tanka and haibun are quite liberating. I'm still learning the ropes and the path is quite a slippery one - just as one thinks one has got the hang of it, it falls to pieces! So your comments here wonderfully reassuring and encouraging.

 

 

Thank you so much.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

In recent weeks your reviews have delved successfully into the world - imaginative, emotional and physical - of the poems you review and this is wonderfully rewarding. I appreciate your sensitive and considered reading of this piece very much.

 

 

 

Thank you,

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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