Verd Mont

[tonyv]

Out of the blues into the browns and greens
we're drifting inland, leaving coasts behind.
With no mutability in its soil
the nutrients subsist. Even the toil
is what it was. How many went to war ...

I never represented I had answers;
never did I say it. Barns remain.
The shoreline, long gone from our rear view mirrors,
has hazed away. Black flies give way to rain.

[goldenlangur]

Hi Tony,

 

It's been a while since I read your work and this one is so well composed.

 

Imagistic and shot through with wistfulness even regret. The descriptions give a sense of movement both in time and space -

 

we're drifting inland, leaving coasts behind.

... How many went to war ...

 

The shoreline, long gone from our rear view mirrors,

has hazed away ...

 

Great detail of colors

 

Out of the blues into the browns and greens

 

The final line has a sense of foreboding:

 

Black flies give way to rain.

 

hazed away is an inspired detail.

 

 

Thank you.

[tonyv]

Thank you, Goldenlangur, for your insightful, considered remarks. I appreciate this a lot:

 

Imagistic and shot through with wistfulness even regret. The descriptions give a sense of movement both in time and space -

That's precisely the mood and effect I was hoping to convey.

 

Tony

[Lake]

Out of the blues into the browns and greens

we're drifting inland, leaving coasts behind.

With no mutability in its soil,

the nutrients subsist. Even the toil

is what it was. How many went to war ...

 

I never represented I had answers;

never did I say it. Barns remain.

The shoreline, long gone from our rear view mirrors,

has hazed away. Black flies give way to rain.

 

Yes, Tony, you have no doubt to write... :icon_sunny:

 

Verd Mont, is this the state name of Vermont?

 

I like the tone and the description of the poem, it brings to mind John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, when he describes the dust bowl - the past tinted with beauty.

 

Beautiful write.

 

Lake

[tonyv]

Thank you, Lake, for the generous compliments.:D I love the dust bowl association you made.

 

Verd Mont, is this the state name of Vermont?

Yes, Verd Mont is a reference to the US state of Vermont. I was interested in the origin of the various states' names. They are, in my opinion, quite unusual. When I searched, I found that many of them are of Native American influence or origin, however Vermont is of French origin. Verd Mont -- green mountain. Hence its nickname the "Green Mountain State."

 

Tony

[Tinker]

Hi Tony, I am so impressed with the caliber of work we are privileged to read at this forum every day. And this piece takes its place amongst the best. You have a gift for connecting the reader to a place. Driving away from the shore heading inland and "the barns remain" felt real. Your poem remided me of when I was in Bavaria years ago. The image that stayed with me probably more than any other was the barns that were hundreds of years old and still in use. I've not seen the barns of Vermont but you just gave me a glimpse.

 

I love the concept of looking into the roots of a state's name. I wish I had thought of that. I know this is not a place for critique and I can think of nothing i could fault in the writing of this poem but I did have one thought after reading your comment about Vermont meaning "green mountain". I got no sense of mountains in your poem, I think if I had I would have responded all the more.

 

Thanks for making me feel at home in your state even though I walk away with a sense of melancholy.

 

~~Tink

[tonyv]

Thank you, Tinker, for your generous compliments and considered remarks. I do love to write about places, many of which I have never been.

 

The experience you've recounted about the barns in Bavaria is intriguing. Austrian poet Georg Trakl effectively mentions barns in his poem "The Rats," and it seems even more germane now that you mention those barns in that region.

 

As for the title, I only chose it because of the state's name, and because there's a mountain range there called the "Green Mountains." It's really just incidental.

 

Thanks again. I'm glad you liked this.

 

Tony

[dr_con]

Sense of place, time a particular solidity really exceptional work- pure image conveying at once a naturalist sensibility and a deep ecology of self.

 

Impressed- quite the work!

 

 

DC&J

[tonyv]

Sense of place, time a particular solidity really exceptional work- pure image conveying at once a naturalist sensibility and a deep ecology of self.

 

Impressed- quite the work!

 

 

DC&J

Thank you, Juris! Everything I was going for ...

 

Tony :icon_sunny:

[douglas]

well done tony - very cool piece of work here! great read! and fabulous atmosphere and tone!

[tonyv]

Thank you, Douglas. Atmosphere and tone are a big deal.

 

Tony :)

[Aleksandra]

Tony, as always you are doing a great job with your poetry. I am impressed from this one, also. In this poem is captured some very real picture of someones truth.

I am always pleased about how you are getting to be inspired and to write such a nice poems. This poem with its sense makes me feel that I read not only you, but J. Wright also in some parts. Good reference to the mountains. I google it right away when I read for a first time this poem, and I found out about the Green Mountain and Vermont . That made me smile, because I said to myself, yes this is Tony :).

 

Many times I think, that if you take a stone in your hands, you can transform it in a piece of gold. That's what I think about you and the words which are same for each of us, but it's important how to build in a poem.

 

A real craft work.

 

I love it.

 

Aleksandra

[tonyv]

Thank you for all your kind remarks, Alek. I think this one's better than my other two recent endeavors. I'm starting to get inspired, so I hope I'll have something new coming soon! Maybe today ...

 

Tony :)

[badger11]

Truly beautiful poem Tony. This is the reason I read poetry. Inspiring. I need to breathe in this poem.

Phil

[tonyv]

17 hours ago, badger11 said:

Truly beautiful poem Tony. This is the reason I read poetry. Inspiring. I need to breathe in this poem.

Thank you, Phil, for the generous, kind remarks. An old one recycled/resurrected "11 years later" -- I guess that can happen when I don't write too many!

Tony

[badger11]

Good poems are not mortal!

[dcmarti1]

I thought I was in a sail boat off Rhode Island. 🙂

Grand imagery. Yes, wistful and sentimental. BTW, I see nothing wrong with sentimentality!

You brought me to "that place" in this poem.

[tonyv]

Phil, thank you, as always!

Marti, So good to see you! Sentimental is where it's at.

Tony 😊