JTParreira Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 ("Stand in the dark light in the dark street" Gregory Corso) As a dark obelisk I stand in the dark light in the street all shades are leaned I look up at to enter in the memory of window, I lived there? I released my five year eyes for the street below another people who walk there they dont suspect of nothing what new world was for me that room. By J.T.Parreira Quote
tonyv Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Some fantastic expressions and imagery in this one, Joao: you are a dark obelisk, the shades are leaned, the memory/ of window, your five year eyes -- all quite characterisitc and fresh. Although you are down on the street, the tone is one of disconnected nostalgia when you look up at the window; it is almost like floating around in the air, while looking down and watching oneself move through some stage of life in slow motion. It is augmented when you ask, I lived there? And the other people on the street, who are not now cognizant of the significance of that room and the window above probably weren't even aware of it then, when you were living there. This is quite deep ... working on many levels. Obrigado for joining and for sharing it! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 excellent poem and use of metaphors, joao victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
goldenlangur Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Hello Jt Parreira, You create a great atmosphere here - the street dark and perhaps deserted and the speaker stands outside a house and relives memories of some memorable time in his life - though the door is barred, yet the mind and feelings cross physical barriers ro revel and relive those times. Wistful longing comes across here. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.
Tinker Posted April 21, 2009 Posted April 21, 2009 Hi JT, I love your opening. It brings me into the poem and helps me see through your eyes. Nice! ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com
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