what you told me

[douglas]

people everywhere

 

smoke

laughter

music

lust

 

your gray eyes

your blonde hair

 

a flashback from the '80's

 

an alternative persona

tight jeans

a loose neon vest

 

captivating

enchanting

seductive

 

but i acted nonchalant

pretending that i hadn't noticed

 

then your voice

sounding strangely familiar

and the sickly sweet shots

you bought for us at the bar

 

closer

your body

closer

your lips

closer

your hand

 

guiding me through the darkness

you took me home

spellbound

 

vodka

cranberry juice

joints

vodka

 

and you in your place

sexy

stylish

complex

 

and our clothes all over the floor

your hot hands all over my skin

your passion inside of me

 

later

and you're telling me something

 

three little words

but not the three one would expect

 

you foolish boy

you selfish boy

 

i deserved to be informed

 

to have a choice

before we had sex

 

gathering up my clothes and my dignity

and walking out of the door

the sunlight breaks the spell of you

bringing me back in to reality

 

and i remember that

i walk in grace

[rumisong]

later

and you're telling me something

 

three little words

but not the three one would expect

 

you foolish boy

you selfish boy

 

 

wow, how terribly powerful, this-

the pacing is perfect for the message-

the short lines, the repetition where it is, just perfect!

 

and then this sort of irony here, that these are not the "three words" that were spoken, but to have three words now inside the readers head in their place... really amazing work

 

thank you

[dr_con]

Douglas,

 

A wonderful reflection on life and living- I really appreciate the last line, which to my mind pulls together the whole piece- May you walk in grace always even when life's lessons are a bit hard to swallow...

 

Excellent!

 

DC&J

[tonyv]

I agree with RS and the Dr., Douglas. The poem and its revelation are perfectly timed and give the reader pause. I always enjoy your cosmopolitan, lyrical works, and this one's very uptown.

 

Tony

[douglas]

later

and you're telling me something

 

three little words

but not the three one would expect

 

you foolish boy

you selfish boy

 

 

wow, how terribly powerful, this-

the pacing is perfect for the message-

the short lines, the repetition where it is, just perfect!

 

and then this sort of irony here, that these are not the "three words" that were spoken, but to have three words now inside the readers head in their place... really amazing work

 

thank you

 

and thank you rumisong for the lovely feedback. i am happy that you got so much out of this piece.

i really enjoyed crafting it and it's great that you 'got' it!

 

d

[douglas]

Douglas,

 

A wonderful reflection on life and living- I really appreciate the last line, which to my mind pulls together the whole piece- May you walk in grace always even when life's lessons are a bit hard to swallow...

 

Excellent!

 

DC&J

 

thank you dr! yes, life's lessons can be very tough and unexpected - but that's how we learn. and, i always manage to transmute the shock or pain in to creativity (poetry) which helps a lot on many levels. your compliments are very generous! thank you.

[douglas]

I agree with RS and the Dr., Douglas. The poem and its revelation are perfectly timed and give the reader pause. I always enjoy your cosmopolitan, lyrical works, and this one's very uptown.

 

Tony

 

thanks tony! yeah, an uptown downer! LOL! thanks for your words, always cherished...