Aleksandra Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 Promise Smile Love Prayer Tears Night Silence... Morning / Blue and gray Heart Lies Pain Box it and send me the key. I'll leave it behind when I flee. The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 Wow Aleks! Minimalist but hard hitting- really beautiful work... I Loved this! DC&J thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 A bitter one Aleks. badge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I was figuring out, Aleks, whether the shape that the list took presents something familiar. The only association I had was they were of opposite direction just like its content. Nice one. "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Hi Alek, I quite like this form, though as Joel said "opposite direction", it is actually a constant change, too. A change in a life circle. But I do feel the bitterness in the poem. Powerful as always. Lake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Love the title, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Another perfect creation, Alek. The mood is elated from "promise" to "prayer" and downhearted from that point to "silence." "Morning / Blue and gray" is perfect; it's vivid and inexpressible any other way. "Heart," "lies," and "pain" wallow in the pit of the blue-gray morning, and the couplet salves the wounds with salt and irony. I loved it. Tony Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 9, 2010 Author Share Posted October 9, 2010 Wow Aleks! Minimalist but hard hitting- really beautiful work... I Loved this! DC&J Thank you, DC. I am glad you like this effort of mine. A bitter one Aleks. badge Badge, bitter is exact word that I relate to with this "poem" I was figuring out, Aleks, whether the shape that the list took presents something familiar. The only association I had was they were of opposite direction just like its content. Nice one. Joel, thank you for your comment and you did a good association. Hi Alek, I quite like this form, though as Joel said "opposite direction", it is actually a constant change, too. A change in a life circle. But I do feel the bitterness in the poem. Powerful as always. Lake Yes, Lake. Life is in a constant change so easily we can make poems that presents that what is already known. Glad you like the title. Another perfect creation, Alek. The mood is elated from "promise" to "prayer" and downhearted from that point to "silence." "Morning / Blue and gray" is perfect; it's vivid and inexpressible any other way. "Heart," "lies," and "pain" wallow in the pit of the blue-gray morning, and the couplet salves the wounds with salt and irony. I loved it. Tony Tony, how good you read the relation between the words. Actually the words are just the feelings and the couplet is as a result from all of it, a conclusion maybe?! Thank you for comment. Aleksandra The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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