tonyv Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I've heard it happens right before you die. The living kindly look you in the eye. And no one even minds if you are late to pay the freight. This once, they let you skate. 1 Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Frank E Gibbard Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Mordant but not mawkish, witty leavened with piquant dash of pithy humour. Great use of epigramatic style, justified brevity, and so true. Quote
rumisong Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I like it I have no doubt the brevity is justified still, I find I wanted 2x4 more lines I like it Quote
tonyv Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 Mordant but not mawkish, witty leavened with piquant dash of pithy humour. Great use of epigramatic style, justified brevity, and so true. Thanks, Frank, for the kind observations. I'm not a big fan of the epigram, but it just materialized that way. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
tonyv Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 I like itI have no doubt the brevity is justified still, I find I wanted 2x4 more lines I like it And thank you, Rumisong. I hear what you're saying how some more lines might be nice. Ordinarily I would have preferred to write a slightly longer poem, but I guess I was just a bit lazy. :icon_redface: Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
badger11 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Always respect for the dead even if there is less time given to the living! badge Quote
JoelJosol Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I like how tony came in strong with the first two lines. Though there could be cultural barrier here, I didn't get the 'freight' thing. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach
Lake Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I agree with Franks' epigrammatic style, the rhyme adds weight to it. I get a feel of forgiving the dead and it reminds me of a saving : Birds cry plaintively before they die, men speak kindly in the presence of death. Lake Quote
tonyv Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Always respect for the dead even if there is less time given to the living! badge Seems so, Badge, but this one's coming from a dead man walking. Thanks for having a look. Tony :D Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
tonyv Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 I like how tony came in strong with the first two lines. Though there could be cultural barrier here, I didn't get the 'freight' thing. Sorry for colloquialism, Joel. "Pay the freight" is an idiom that means "cover the expenses" of something. It's pretty specific, but I'm using it kind of generally to mean pay for various things and unpaid bills. Thanks for taking a look. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
tonyv Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 I agree with Franks' epigrammatic style, the rhyme adds weight to it. I get a feel of forgiving the dead and it reminds me of a saving : Birds cry plaintively before they die, men speak kindly in the presence of death. Lake Thanks, Lake. I like the quote. There's truth in it. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Aleksandra Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I've heard it happens right before you die.The living kindly look you in the eye. And no one even minds if you are late to pay the freight. For once, they let you skate. I found irony in this poem, Tony. Even the title is sticky, besides ironical. I like how you created a scenario behind your words. It's interesting when it's ok to skate for once :). But I would say is much more in this poem than the narrator speaks out loud. I don't think so that this can happen to a dead man walking - or you refer to the movie?! :). Nice composed, with some unusual tone from you. And it's good to see you in this kind of light, a bit different than your usual. Thank you for sharing this poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia
tonyv Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 I don't think so that this can happen to a dead man walking ... Well, it's supposed to be coming from the vantage point of someone who is about to die, hence the expression "dead man walking." And it's interesting that you found the tone of the poem unusual for me. We'll have to explore that notion a bit more! Thank you. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.