badger11 Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 Pursing her lips to cool a bowl of hot tomato soup- peppered soup, that tips a notion on the tip of her tongue. Is this the taste of temptation? she whispers. She dips a slice of bread and draws up the liquid to His lips, which part as if in memory. With a child's smile she frees a blood-soaked nail from His soft hand, breathes a prayer, a summer breeze to flutter doubt away. ‘Your Father will forgive,’ she prays. Her back wrenching back, her hand gripping His hair, until His eyes open so deep within her soul she sees their sin as if all her days will end, and all her nights begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 Very provocative, Badge. The hot tomato soup imagery captures me. "Flutter doubt away" is fresh. The last lines deliver the epiphany: ... His eyes openso deep within her soul she sees their sin as if all her days will end, and all her nights begin. (I wouldn't mind stealing the last one, but I won't.) Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 MARY! *thonks forhead with heel of palm* MARY! I get it now there was SO much good about this, except I wasnt getting it- the blood-tomato soup references were throwing me off but the POEM is just fine- I was a bit bothered by the rhyme ending sin/begin being the only end-of-line one maybe still am still looking at it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Share Posted October 9, 2010 Provocative? Moi? cheers Tony - pleased you enjoyed the soup! badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Share Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks Rumi. Pleased you found the light switch! badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 9, 2010 Share Posted October 9, 2010 Yes, I agree that this poem is provocative. I see it as some holy poem, and I read it as a Christian. The capitalization of His, I think you refer to God. Maybe I am wrong. But Mary tells us a lot in this poem. Wonderful write, badge. I loved this poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 Yes, I agree that this poem is provocative. I see it as some holy poem, and I read it as a Christian. The capitalization of His, I think you refer to God. Maybe I am wrong. But Mary tells us a lot in this poem. Wonderful write, badge. I loved this poem. Aleksandra Yes I do, or rather the Son. Thanks again Aleks. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douglas Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 just amazing! i love this poem! it is loaded and totally visceral! i think of vampires too when i read this - apart from the christain slant. i just adore these lines: With a child's smile she frees a blood-soaked nail from His soft hand, breathes a prayer, a summer breeze to flutter doubt away. Quote To receive love, you have to give it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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