Aleksandra Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 Along the sleeping river, I burn with the city lights, slowly but surely. Among the faces, I hide in a few spots on the corner. I'm seeking home, the bed, the breeze without window... One sir holds up his hat in hello and passes me by. Alone and pointless, I could follow the flowing water -- it can't be wrong -- or just stare at the tasteless liquid. Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I have a friend who prefers the city anonymity, but then she writes and perhaps finds meaning in observing. There again that flowing river may find another home...either way there is always a choice. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I love the ambivalence, Alek. But the uncertainty seems secondary, incidental, to a deeper sense of hopelessness/helplessness that's attendant throughout. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 Thank you, badge and Tony. You are always so encouraging with your comments. Thanks for taking time to please me with your words. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 my favorite parts of this work: One sir holds up his hat in helloand passes me by. very evocative of the mood or feeling that I get from the piece- and this: Alone and pointless, I could follow the flowing water -- it can't be wrong -- Just love that! being pointless in 'self' and the river's inability to be "wrong" is a wonderful juxtaposition I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 11, 2010 Author Share Posted October 11, 2010 Thank you, rumisong. I am glad you like my first written lines for this poem :). Thank you for your comment. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 Along the sleeping river, I burn with the city lights, slowly but surely. Among the faces, I hide in a few spots on the corner. I'm seeking home, the bed, the breeze without window... One sir holds up his hat in hello and passes me by. Alone and pointless, I could follow the flowing water -- it can't be wrong -- or just stare at the tasteless liquid. Hi Aleks, There is so much in the writing that I like about this one. The opening lines set the tone and does what most poets strive for but most often miss, it provides an ordinary image in an extraordinary way.The next stanza feels lost and lonely in a crowd and is very sad. Then "one sir holds up his hat in hello" an oh so human, uplifting experience so well described, so welcome to bring a ray of hope. But then the last, ignoring the hope, "follow the water..../it can't be wrong.../ tasteless liquid" What can't be wrong? following or the water itself? I honestly was frightened by this "tasteless liquid" the only way to taste is to go into the water. My reaction was, no don't follow and I was very thankful for the words "or just stare". ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 13, 2010 Author Share Posted October 13, 2010 Very interesting reading, Tinker. I am happy to see what kind of reaction you got from this poem. Thank you very much for your inspiring comment. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Aleks, a very concise summary of the mood from Dostoevsky's "Notes from the Underground." An existential perspective which at once frees and discomforts- A wonderful piece! DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 Aleks, a very concise summary of the mood from Dostoevsky's "Notes from the Underground." An existential perspective which at once frees and discomforts- A wonderful piece! DC&J Juris, I am honored by this comment. Though I have never read "Notes from the Underground," I am familiar with the novel by Dostoevsky from my school days. As much as I remember, there were chapters that went from expressing suffering, to enjoyment of suffering, to theories of logic etc... ?! However, don't mind me here It was long time ago, but it was pleasure to know what connection you made. Thank you. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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