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you melt away


spauldhr
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I remember resenting his forgiveness.

One can't accept mercy,

While seeking justice.

 

I was not sorry.

Nor was I being rebellious.

I was not required to consider

you, anymore.

 

I was a stone

And you were trying to wrap me in snow,

Hoping to freeze me in place,

Hoping then, to keep me.

 

But I had already formed, solid,

and you, as expected,

just melt away.

 

** First poem here, I might be a bit rusty, but am glad to join the board and see some familiar names!

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Hello Spauldhr,

 

spauldhr wrote:

I remember resenting his forgiveness.

One can't accept mercy,

While seeking justice.

Interesting that you were on that end of it. I have (on certain occasions) had my pleas for forgiveness resented, because the other person was seeking her own brand of justice -- perhaps retaliating (by enjoying my suffering) or trying to teach me some lesson.

 

But you go on to say that you were really not sorry for what you did, and that,

I was not required to consider

you, anymore.

Ouch! This leads me to believe that the other person did something wrong first, and that your actions were retaliatory.

 

I very much like the image which appears in the third verse -- of being wrapped in snow. You go on to mention the futility of that attempt in the last strophe, which I find particularly striking:

But I had already formed, solid,

and you, as expected,

just melt away.

I sense a sadness in this last part. It seems that your having turned to stone was not as effective as you had envisioned. This is evidenced by the other's disappointing albeit predictable reaction of melting away.

 

Well done. I love it. Please share more!

 

Tony icon_biggrin.png

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

Hello Spauldhr, nice to see you around. This poem I like it a lot. I can feel here the strong feminity side and energy, and the pain too.

Very wonderful expressed and yes I like the women like that icon_smile.gif

 

Thank you for sharing your poem here, and as Tony said, please share more!

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleksandra

tonyv wrote:

Interesting that you were on that end of it. I have (on certain occasions) had my
pleas
for forgiveness resented, because the other person was seeking her own brand of justice -- perhaps retaliating (by enjoying my suffering) or trying to teach me some lesson.

 

icon_lol.gif Ah Tony here you made me smile. I am so happy when the men think like that. Often they are wrong and think like that because of loving to act as a victims, and to act " soo kind " icon_biggrin.png bc they are expecting forgiveness. icon_biggrin.png Ahh men.... icon_razz.gif Anyway it is good because you have one of the good experiences icon_smile.gif sorry, but you are a man so it is ok, it is not so painful icon_biggrin.png but you could be wrong about this: (by enjoying my suffering) or trying to teach me some lesson. - not always like that, but you men loves to act like that icon_razz.gif Anyway you sound so cute Tony, you make me smile dear icon_smile.gif

 

Sorry Spauldhr, for this , but Tony provoked me icon_smile.gif. They are imagining a lot ( Tony, this was generaly, not about you icon_wink.gif ) But you know Spauldhr, the love is love, not important is it accepted or no, understood or no. Just keep loving.

 

Thanks again for this nice poem.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Spaulhdr, your best lines are in the last two stanzas. Great start.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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goldenlangur

Hello spauldhr,

 

There's such a sense of pained anger in this poem - an exorcising of a relationship which threatened to suffocate and destroy the spirit of the narrator. There's a bond but one which overwhelms and the narrator's protests, anger and attempts to voice her/his actual feelings seem frustrated and deflected by the suffocating presence and love of the other.

 

There's a sense of burying emotions and the past unsuccessfully and the pain and perhaps shame of this endure. There's quite a strong element of bitterness here :

 

spauldhr wrote:

I remember resenting his forgiveness.

One can't accept mercy,

While seeking justice.

 

 

 

Thought-provoking and wistful.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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man as freshly fallen 'snow' at night....cool icon_pale.gif

 

woman as a stone........to strong of a metaphor for me.. icon_flower.png ......

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