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Last things


goldenlangur
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Last things

 

 

Lace of white

under rain clouds -

a strand of hope.

The storm

then hits the ground

booms in the valley,

drums the tin roof.

 

At last light

the frenzy of birds.

A sharpness to their notes,

fury in their dash home.

 

The trees become a distant line.

Eyes flick out light.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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It's dusk, and I can feel the coming of the night, especially in the last lines:

 

The trees become a distant line.

Eyes flick out light.

I know the feeling, Goldenlangur ...

 

The title is slightly ominous, but fitting. It piques the reader's curiosity.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Hi GL, Great imagery!

 

The storm

then hits the ground

booms in the valley,

drums the tin roof.

 

I know these sounds, winter is almost here and this poem was a reminder of what I have to look forward to. Not my favorite time of year but it makes a good subject for a poem.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Hi Tony,

 

I love how you read this piece:

 

It's dusk, and I can feel the coming of the night, ...

 

The title is slightly ominous, but fitting. It piques the reader's curiosity.

 

Tony

 

 

I am always delighted and surprised when reader brings a perspective, quite unexpected, to a piece.

 

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Aleksandra,

 

I am pleased that the dark/scary element came across for you:

 

... It feels like a scary night... Deep poem, GL.

 

Aleksandra

 

I have often been struck by the heightened sense of things in a cusp kind of situation - the white in the clouds before the black storm clouds unleash their might, the intensity in the bird song and activity at dusk and I wondered if when one closes one's eyes for the last time if the scene might be more of a fading away in contrast to the drama that nature offers us.

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Tink,

 

So glad that the imagery works.

 

How wonderful that this reminded you of the force of storms in your part of the world:

 

I know these sounds, winter is almost here and this poem was a reminder of what I have to look forward to. Not my favorite time of year but it makes a good subject for a poem.

 

~~Tink

 

I think it's great that we have many things in common, no matter which part of the world we are in. :D

 

 

Thank you.

Edited by goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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