goldenlangur Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Colors. No colors. She decrees. The earth is a sodden brown, the sky, a wet gray. Wisps of white around rain clouds is all you need. Her teeth are purple, her lips, blue-mauve and her words? Black-red throbbing with the heat of her crushing the sun into ashes. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Colors. No colors. She decrees. The earth is a sodden brown, the sky, a wet gray. Wisps of white around rain clouds is all you need. Her teeth are purple, her lips, blue-mauve and her words? Black-red throbbing with the heat of her crushing the sun into ashes. I like it very much many thoughts come to this, that cant be published just yet-- one in particular, reminds me of a time when my least favorite teacher (all of sixth grade, age 11) called my parents into school for a writing I did that she thought was ghoulish and needed to be told out-- my school life was hell ever since Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Startling- Imagistic- I read as an anthropomorphization of the Sky at sunset- The great goddess rolling across the landscape, obscuring the sun- A beautiful powerful piece! Many Thanks, DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 I agree with Dr. Con's imagistic assessment, Goldenlangur. I love the earth/sodden brown and sky/wet gray depictions. The last four lines are remarkably vivid. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Goldenlangur, as for me, I read this poem as a big metaphor for a country... Well, of course, sorry if I am out of track here. It could be different. But for me all those colors and and the way how you expressed them and the sad tone also, sounds to me like hard-living country. Maybe I am too much occupied with that way of seeing the face of the country where I live, so everything I read with keeping that metaphor in mind. Very powerful and perfect poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Hi GL, This is one of the most powerful poems I have read. There isn't a wasted word and the images are as solid as stone. Even the sky is thunderous not bright and wispy. You truly are a master of imagery. Like Tonly I read this as a sunset, but not just an every day sunset, this is a vivid almost violent sunset. Wow! ~~Tink Colors. No colors. She decrees. The earth is a sodden brown, the sky, a wet gray. Wisps of white around rain clouds is all you need. Her teeth are purple, her lips, blue-mauve and her words? Black-red throbbing with the heat of her crushing the sun into ashes. Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 i enjoyed this succinct and solid poem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 Enjoyed how you coloured gl! Certainly a power poem, in meaning and form. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 Hi rumisong, I am amazed and delighted that you picked on the sense of censorship and stamping out of creativity: one in particular, reminds me of a time when my least favorite teacher (all of sixth grade, age 11) called my parents into school for a writing I did that she thought was ghoulish and needed to be told out-- my school life was hell ever since Your reading is very close to what triggered this piece, albeit in a slightly different context, but intimidating and unforgettable nonetheless. Thank you so much. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 (edited) Startling- Imagistic- I read as an anthropomorphization of the Sky at sunset- The great goddess rolling across the landscape, obscuring the sun- A beautiful powerful piece! Many Thanks, DC&J As always, DC, your reading adds something to this piece which I appreciate. Thank you very much. Edited December 15, 2010 by goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 I agree with Dr. Con's imagistic assessment, Goldenlangur. I love the earth/sodden brown and sky/wet gray depictions. The last four lines are remarkably vivid. Tony Imagistic , as DC and you say, is hugely generous and also humbling for me. I am so glad that the details you've highlighted work. Many thanks for your encouraging comment. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 Hi Aleksandra, I am always amazed and delighted that a piece of mine is read in different ways by the reader: Goldenlangur, as for me, I read this poem as a big metaphor for a country... Well, of course, sorry if I am out of track here. It could be different. But for me all those colors and and the way how you expressed them and the sad tone also, sounds to me like hard-living country. Maybe I am too much occupied with that way of seeing the face of the country where I live, so everything I read with keeping that metaphor in mind. Aleksandra The parallel with the suppression and hardship of a country is wonderfully valid and I like very much how you've articulated your take on of it. Very powerful and perfect poem. Thank you very much: Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 Hi Tink, This is indeed a most generous commendation: This is one of the most powerful poems I have read. There isn't a wasted word and the images are as solid as stone. Even the sky is thunderous not bright and wispy. You truly are a master of imagery. ~~Tink I amso glad that the violence of the scene came across: Like Tonly I read this as a sunset, but not just an every day sunset, this is a vivid almost violent sunset. Wow! Many thanks for the thumbs up. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 Lovely to meet you, eclipse. :D Thank you for reading this and your kind words: i enjoyed this succinct and solid poem I hope to read your work too. :D Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 15, 2010 Author Share Posted December 15, 2010 Enjoyed how you coloured gl! Certainly a power poem, in meaning and form. badge Such warm words from you, badge, are truly encouraging. Thank you very much. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 A jewel that sparkles on different aspects with each reading. Good poetry makes you think and this does precisely that.. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 GL, your piece reminded me of the Eclipse Chaser I was watching on NatGeo :-) The first line was harsh as reflected in the choice of words, 'decrees' and 'crushing'. But she was never identified, a mystical persona in the poem. This piece painted a character whose instruction was implemented forcibly. But the purple teeth reminds of a wine drinker, could be a detail about affluence or power :-) Brown, grey, and white versus purple, blue-mauve, black-red. The latter colors turned out to be associated with anarchists :-) Indeed, powerful strong colors to paint the poem's landscape. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 ... Good poetry makes you think and this does precisely that.. Benjamin Thank you, Benjamin for this generous thumbs up. Appreciate the encouragement. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 GL, your piece reminded me of the Eclipse Chaser I was watching on NatGeo :-) Good idea, JoelJosol, watching it on NatGeo. The eclipse was not visible from here. Your reading of someone in power is spot on: The first line was harsh as reflected in the choice of words, 'decrees' and 'crushing'. But she was never identified, a mystical persona in the poem. This piece painted a character whose instruction was implemented forcibly. But the purple teeth reminds of a wine drinker, could be a detail about affluence or power :-) I like the idea of anarchists :D and yes, some kind of resistance to such censorship is necessary: Brown, grey, and white versus purple, blue-mauve, black-red. The latter colors turned out to be associated with anarchists :-) So glad that the colors work here: Indeed, powerful strong colors to paint the poem's landscape. Thank you for taking the trouble to read and comment. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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