Colors

[goldenlangur]

Colors.

 

 

No colors. She decrees.

The earth is a sodden brown,

the sky, a wet gray.

Wisps of white

around rain clouds

is all you need.

 

Her teeth are purple,

her lips, blue-mauve

and her words?

Black-red

throbbing with the heat

of her crushing the sun

into ashes.

[rumisong]

Colors.

 

 

No colors. She decrees.

The earth is a sodden brown,

the sky, a wet gray.

Wisps of white

around rain clouds

is all you need.

 

Her teeth are purple,

her lips, blue-mauve

and her words?

Black-red

throbbing with the heat

of her crushing the sun

into ashes.

 

I like it

very much

many thoughts come to this, that cant be published just yet--

 

one in particular, reminds me of a time when my least favorite teacher (all of sixth grade, age 11) called my parents into school for a writing I did that she thought was ghoulish and needed to be told out-- my school life was hell ever since

[dr_con]

Startling- Imagistic- I read as an anthropomorphization of the Sky at sunset- The great goddess rolling across the landscape, obscuring the sun- A beautiful powerful piece!

 

Many Thanks,

 

DC&J

[tonyv]

I agree with Dr. Con's imagistic assessment, Goldenlangur. I love the earth/sodden brown and sky/wet gray depictions. The last four lines are remarkably vivid.

 

Tony

[Aleksandra]

Goldenlangur, as for me, I read this poem as a big metaphor for a country... Well, of course, sorry if I am out of track here. It could be different. But for me all those colors and and the way how you expressed them and the sad tone also, sounds to me like hard-living country. Maybe I am too much occupied with that way of seeing the face of the country where I live, so everything I read with keeping that metaphor in mind.

 

Very powerful and perfect poem.

 

Aleksandra

[Tinker]

Hi GL, This is one of the most powerful poems I have read. There isn't a wasted word and the images are as solid as stone. Even the sky is thunderous not bright and wispy. You truly are a master of imagery. Like Tonly I read this as a sunset, but not just an every day sunset, this is a vivid almost violent sunset. Wow!

 

~~Tink

 

Colors.

 

 

No colors. She decrees.

The earth is a sodden brown,

the sky, a wet gray.

Wisps of white

around rain clouds

is all you need.

 

Her teeth are purple,

her lips, blue-mauve

and her words?

Black-red

throbbing with the heat

of her crushing the sun

into ashes.

[eclipse]

i enjoyed this succinct and solid poem

[badger11]

Enjoyed how you coloured gl! Certainly a power poem, in meaning and form.

 

badge

[goldenlangur]

Hi rumisong,

 

I am amazed and delighted that you picked on the sense of censorship and stamping out of creativity:

 

one in particular, reminds me of a time when my least favorite teacher (all of sixth grade, age 11) called my parents into school for a writing I did that she thought was ghoulish and needed to be told out-- my school life was hell ever since

 

 

Your reading is very close to what triggered this piece, albeit in a slightly different context, but intimidating and unforgettable nonetheless.

 

 

Thank you so much.

[goldenlangur]

Startling- Imagistic- I read as an anthropomorphization of the Sky at sunset- The great goddess rolling across the landscape, obscuring the sun- A beautiful powerful piece!

 

Many Thanks,

 

DC&J

 

 

As always, DC, your reading adds something to this piece which I appreciate.

 

 

Thank you very much.

Edited December 15, 2010 by goldenlangur

[goldenlangur]

I agree with Dr. Con's imagistic assessment, Goldenlangur. I love the earth/sodden brown and sky/wet gray depictions. The last four lines are remarkably vivid.

 

Tony

 

Imagistic , as DC and you say, is hugely generous and also humbling for me. I am so glad that the details you've highlighted work.

 

Many thanks for your encouraging comment.

[goldenlangur]

Hi Aleksandra,

 

I am always amazed and delighted that a piece of mine is read in different ways by the reader:

 

Goldenlangur, as for me, I read this poem as a big metaphor for a country... Well, of course, sorry if I am out of track here. It could be different. But for me all those colors and and the way how you expressed them and the sad tone also, sounds to me like hard-living country. Maybe I am too much occupied with that way of seeing the face of the country where I live, so everything I read with keeping that metaphor in mind.

 

Aleksandra

 

The parallel with the suppression and hardship of a country is wonderfully valid and I like very much how you've articulated your take on of it.

 

Very powerful and perfect poem.

 

 

Thank you very much:

[goldenlangur]

Hi Tink,

 

This is indeed a most generous commendation:

 

This is one of the most powerful poems I have read. There isn't a wasted word and the images are as solid as stone. Even the sky is thunderous not bright and wispy. You truly are a master of imagery.

~~Tink

 

 

I amso glad that the violence of the scene came across:

 

Like Tonly I read this as a sunset, but not just an every day sunset, this is a vivid almost violent sunset. Wow!

 

 

Many thanks for the thumbs up.

[goldenlangur]

Lovely to meet you, eclipse. :D

 

Thank you for reading this and your kind words:

 

i enjoyed this succinct and solid poem

 

 

I hope to read your work too. :D

[goldenlangur]

Enjoyed how you coloured gl! Certainly a power poem, in meaning and form.

 

badge

 

 

Such warm words from you, badge, are truly encouraging.

 

Thank you very much.

[Benjamin]

A jewel that sparkles on different aspects with each reading. Good poetry makes you think and this does precisely that.. Benjamin

[JoelJosol]

GL, your piece reminded me of the Eclipse Chaser I was watching on NatGeo :-)

 

The first line was harsh as reflected in the choice of words, 'decrees' and 'crushing'. But she was never identified, a mystical persona in the poem. This piece painted a character whose instruction was implemented forcibly. But the purple teeth reminds of a wine drinker, could be a detail about affluence or power :-)

 

Brown, grey, and white versus purple, blue-mauve, black-red. The latter colors turned out to be associated with anarchists :-)

 

Indeed, powerful strong colors to paint the poem's landscape.

[goldenlangur]

... Good poetry makes you think and this does precisely that.. Benjamin

 

Thank you, Benjamin for this generous thumbs up.

 

Appreciate the encouragement.

[goldenlangur]

GL, your piece reminded me of the Eclipse Chaser I was watching on NatGeo :-)

 

Good idea, JoelJosol, watching it on NatGeo. The eclipse was not visible from here.

 

Your reading of someone in power is spot on:

 

The first line was harsh as reflected in the choice of words, 'decrees' and 'crushing'. But she was never identified, a mystical persona in the poem. This piece painted a character whose instruction was implemented forcibly. But the purple teeth reminds of a wine drinker, could be a detail about affluence or power :-)

 

I like the idea of anarchists :D and yes, some kind of resistance to such censorship is necessary:

 

Brown, grey, and white versus purple, blue-mauve, black-red. The latter colors turned out to be associated with anarchists :-)

 

So glad that the colors work here:

 

Indeed, powerful strong colors to paint the poem's landscape.

 

 

Thank you for taking the trouble to read and comment.